1700 hrs November 10th 2004

Just what was I thinking of,

when I wrote the previous posting,

written during lunch time?

Guess I was thinking of

my ex-wife again.

How did I lose that one.

When I looked back,

I did not talk to her

very much.

I was much happier,

doing my work

and

found the company

of a book

more interesting

than my wife.

Poor girl,

it must have been so lonely

being married to me.

Yeah, I bought her expensive gifts,

afforded her a dream beachhouse,

expensive holidays,

branded clothes and jewellery,

tried to provide her love,

and support.

But,

I never felt the need,

to listen to her,

or anybody.

I was so caught up

in my own

career success

and my cold logic

in every situation,

never felt the need

to listen.

She felt like an accessory,

in my life,

a non-entity

in my house,

a silent partner

in my marriage.

Guess I can only blame myself,

for being so cocksure

of myself,

that I invalidated

her entire being.

With a gapping emotional void,

it is only natural,

that she ended up

in the arms

of another man.

Maybe its too late,

to say I'm sorry.

But I do wished,

she helped me change,

for the better.

1300 hrs November 10th 2004

We all have our needs,

and no one person

can fulfill everyone of them,

absolutely

no one.

If I try to substantiate them,

it would broadly be,

Emotional Needs,

Intellectual Needs,

Spiritual Needs,

Physical Needs,

Material Needs.

Try as I may,

I will never be able to fulfill

all of my partner's needs,

and vise versa.

To make matters worse,

people's needs

change through time,

contantly.

Infidelity is never

a solution.

Because affairs or flings

are short term in nature,

and they leave behind

unspeakable pain

and

irreparable damage.

I will never ever

cause this pain,

or be the cause

of this pain.

I know very well

how unbearable

it hurts.

So either,

we teach our partners

to fulfill at least part

of the void,

or we learn,

to settle

for a bit less.

So long as,

on balance,

we're generally happy.

Not necessarily

ecstatic bliss,

just happy.

Because I feel wary

when I get ravished

by delirious happiness,

only pigs in shit do that.

1530 hrs November 6th 2004

So Bush had won the US elections,

much to the dismay

of a larger part

of the world.

The best reason to vote Kerry,

is

he is not Bush.

Why do we hate Americans so much?

We do not hate Americans,

we hate your governmental foreign policy.

And unfortunately,

people are a direct product,

of the System.

We did not have a problem,

with Bill Clinton.

He is a regular cool dude,

fun loving even.

With Bush,

it is more like,

Fuck you,

fuck your family

and your dog too.

You don't like me?

Bang, one bullet in your fucking head.

Now who else do not like me?

America was born

as a country of lofty ideals.

It grew big and strong,

on pursuing the right thing

to do.

It has unfortunately mutated,

into one big self-centred,

self-serving,

egocentric

sonofabitch.

And Bush represents

all that we hate

in America,

he actually

perpeptuates that.

And now that he has

a ringing endorsement

of the people,

you can extrapolate

why we hate America.

We do not hate America,

because you are rich.

Heck, there is Japan,

Switzerland and Germany

to hate

for being rich.

We do not hate America,

for your freedom,

Heck there are the Scandinavian countries,

of Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Finland,

or European countries like

Holland, Italy, Belgium,

who have far more freedom.

We hate America,

for your attitude.

Just that a small group,

take it to the extreme,

and decided,

to teach you a lesson,

from time to time.

1700 hrs November 2nd 2004

When I make an honest assessment of my Life,

there are few things of importance

right now that matters,

at the moment.

I have a well paying job,

with bosses who think of me

as indispensable,

and subordinates who think

highly of me,

I have a promising business venture,

with a partner who is trustworthy,

loyal and highly intelligent,

I have a gorgeous girlfriend,

who actually laughs

at my jokes,

and misses my nonsense,

whenever she is on flight.

I have a Mum,

who adores me

like I am still a kid.

I have expensive hobbies

that I could actually afford,

How many people actually have

a boat and a sportscar?

Whilst I won't take back my statement

that God really hates the world,

He indeed does.

But I reckon He loves me,

and only me alone.

0900 hrs November 1st 2004

The idea of the Original Sin,

was initiated by St Paul.

I'd like to think of Homosexuality

as a sin one is born with,

where one goes against

his own creation,

and therefore by default,

his Creator.

Makes me wonder,

if St Paul is really

a gay.

The other Original Sin,

is probably Stupidity,

which is far more

all encompassing.

Stupidity breeds stupidity,

and it multiplies

like bacteria.

A couple of Days ago,

I wrote of what I wanted.

Perhaps it would be easier,

to write of what I do not want.

I hate Transactional Worship,

Christians scrounging God for blessings,

in exchange for worship.

The Church is the biggest

commercial enterprise

in the World.

I hate Immoral Commerce,

businessmen who conducts

business for money

at all costs,

including human ones.

I hate Unprincipled Politics,

politicians who would

kill even,

to remain in power.

I hate Guiltless Pleasure,

pleasure seekers who pursue

gratification,

without remorse

or sensitivity.

And,

in being with

rich old man's daughter

Ms X,

and constantly

having my personality measured

in dollars and cents,

I hate Easy Money.