1850 hrs 11th September 2009

Seems like only yesterday,

when I looked

at the stars above

and stood

in the shadows

of the moonlight.

The vastness

of the rooftop terrace

stuck an empty chord.

Nothing seems more bleak

than buying a condo alone.

The street lights

were shining below,

I saw a happy couple

holding each other,

As I held my can of beer.

Coming home

through an empty hallway

staggering upstairs,

in drunken stupor

My only redemption.

I cursed

another blown lightbulb

On the chandelier.

I peered out

Of the staircase window,

The Korean kids

Were laughing at the pool.

I’ve always loved

the laughter Of young children.

But this time,

In my drunken haze

They seemed like

A mockery.

Annyong fucking hasaeyo to you too.

And to your obnoxious father

Who is at least 10 years

Younger than me.

Oh God,

What is happening to me?

As a kid,

I used to enjoy

My own solitude.

Who the fuck was I kidding?

A middle aged old man

Alone

And lonely.

What does it take

To fill that abyss Of my soul?

Is it so difficult

To want to share

Your life a little bit?

To find joy

In being wholly responsible

For someone

Other than yourself?

God,

Can you hear

My despair?

He did,

And my prayers became

A little boy.

1800 hrs 18th July 2009

Lord,

as we prepare

to welcome Van-Dylan

into this world,

I prayfor his safe passage.

As I prepare

for fatherhood,

grant me wisdom

that I may guide him,

grant me stength

that I may provide for him,

grant me peace

that I may shelter him.

Grant him enthusiasm

that he may seek

to live

the wonderment of life

to the fullest.

Grant him dreams

that the quest

to experience your miracles

you manifest

in this world

be his lifelong crusade.

Grant him love

that is your greatest gift

that he may love you

and your all

of your amazing creations,

and that his love

will be always

be a pleasure

for you to behold.

Fill his soul,

with the Holy Spirit,

that his words and actions,

will always be

a glowing testimonyfor you.

Fill his heart,

with blissful joy,

that his life

will touch you

and all of us

privileged to be

around him.

For afterall,

he is your gift

to us.

Amen