2300 hrs August 30th 2006

"I love you Darling,

I've always loved you

and always will....."

Suddenly his heart

skipped a beat.

In his mind,

visions of going to ROM together,

getting married,

applying for a HDB together,

starting a family together,

working hard, saving harder,

maybe buy a condo....

that brought a contented

satisfied smile,

to his face.

"But you and I

are not meant to be

together"

In that instance,

his little world collapsed.

He loved her

for so long,

she made him cry

bitter tears in silence.

Through her outbursts

of temper,

her raging boredom

to her infidelity.

Through it all,

he stood steadfast,

thinking and praying quietly,

that one day he can tame

that wild spirit,

that wanderlust.

She can stray,

but he always thought,

his patience and love,

will one day

make her wholly his

and his alone.

She can wander,

but his love

will surely lead

her back.

He never once

even openly defied her,

agreeing with all her abuses,

swallowing his pride,

which man doesn't have pride?

Hoping and stubbornly believing

his unwavering resolution

will win her over

one day.

Even at this moment,

when all seems lost....

"I am not right for you,

one day when you meet the right woman,

you will thank me

for this"

He just sat there,

frozen in time.

This seems to last

an eternity.

He could understand

those words.

Yet they seemed

so senseless

so hollow.

"You and I

are not meant

to be....."

He is fighting back

his emotions.

"But darling,

you know I always loved you"

He uttered.

How could that little girl,

the love of his life,

say such cold and murderous words?

Is this a nightmare?

No, its something worse.

But it cannot be true,

as he sunk into depths

of his despairing denial.

He could say no more.

Nothing in the human language,

is befitting

of expression

that his heart

is crying out

to express.

Yet he valiantly tried,

to remain strong,

as he always done so,

holding back

the tears,

not for the first time,

certainly he hoped,

not the last time

either

1100 hrs August 29th 2006

What were you thinking?

Whe he first asked

you out.

Did you think

his motives were pure?

What were you thinking?

When you found yourself

increasingly drawn to him.

Did it not occur to you

how I would hurt

to lose you?

Did you think

you were doing

the right thing?

For yourself and me?

Didn't all those years

we spent together

meant anything to you?

Can you remember

what you saw in me

in the first place?

Can you remember

what got us through

all these years

in the first place?

What were you thinking?

Were we that bad?

Don't you think

we or I deserve

a 2nd chance

to make it work?

Do you still think

you did the right thing?

Can you look at me

in the eyes

see my hurt

and tell me

you did the right thing?

Did you feel guilt

at all?

Did you think of me

at all?

What future did you see

in him,

to throw it all away?

Maybe my best

is not good enough,

but are you getting

a much better deal now?

Are you happier now?

0910 hrs August 25th 2006

I fucking give up

I fucking fucking give up.

I don't fucking understand anymore.

I found out my ex-wife bought

a HDB 3 room flat

with my money.

What the hell fuck is going on?

You gave me up for this???

You gave up a husband

who would have provided you

a penthouse, a porsche, a boat

expensive holidays, branded goods

for a HDB 3 room flat???

Wanna find an angmor boyfriend

for fuck sakes,

why not find an angmor

with at least some class???

Get an angmor who would not even

rent a studio apartment in a condo

for you?

I am almost sure

this type of angmor

back in his home country

he will not even get a date

and you divorced me

for such a loser?

And you have to buy a HDB 3 room flat

with your ex-husband's money???

I don't know who is more pathetic

you or me.

1220 hrs August 16th 2006

Every morning,

when I wait frantically

for the next MRT train

to arrive,

minutes ticking away

as I need to rush

to office,

and when it arrives,

I'd squeeze in

amongst thousands

the pungent smell

of body odour

mingling with

the smell of freshly

scubbed bodies

shampooed hair

and freshly laundered clothes.

Singapore is an island city,

so it means the city cannot grow

beyond its shores.

Its hard to plan subways

for inland cities

because the cities keep growing

over its boundaries.

Some like London,

keep a greenbelt,

to restrict the growth

of the city.

Singapore's growth is limited

by its shores,

even though that can increase slightly

through reclaimation of land.

So the most accurate comparison

of transport systems

would be other island cities,

like Hong Kong and New York.

Both have populations

about double

of Singapore.

But I noticed,

I never had to cramp in

a subway in New York nor Hong Kong.

For a simple reason,

train frequencies

are alot higher there,

for that matter,

almost anywhere

where you have dense populations.

So for curiosity,

I took a look

at the financial statements

of SMRT

for the last 4 years.

Year ending Q3Y03 profit S$72.1 million

Year ending Q3Y04 profit S$89.5 million

Year ending Q3Y05 profit S$126.7 million

Year ending Q3Y06 profit S$103.4 million

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!!

Can they for one fucking moment

stop making all these millions

and spare a thought

for their poor commuter

and perhaps provide

more trains?

1335 hrs August 14th 2006

SM Goh Chok Tong

was reported

in Today newspaper on Friday,

it is "basic politics"

to test new Isreali PM Ehud Olmert

by capturing 2 Isreali soldiers.

"When two soldiers are kidnapped,

a new Prime Minister must not show

any weakness,

that is basic politics"

Be that as it may,

why don't he just

shut the fuck up???

Its a clear endorsement

by the Swingabore government

that it is perfectly alright

to bomb out another country

kill a thousand people,

destroy all economic infrastructure

that a country needs

to survive,

in retaliation

over 2 kidnapped soliders.

Has he forgotten that

we live amongst Muslim neighbours?

And an American/Isreali

running dog Swingaborean government

is a perfect target

for any terrorist?

Think about it.

Swingabore is known

for its safety and security.

A dream target

for any terrorist

wishing to strike terror.

You actually think you can stop them,

if they wanna hit us?

If anything were to happen

to this cuntry,

remember Swingaboreans,

you fucking voted

this type of First World diplomat.

Fucking moron.

1740 hrs August 4th 2006

Although I am surrounded

by Man Utd fans,

its so hard

not to laugh at them.

Buying Michael Carrick

for GBP18.6 million!!!

What would that

make Xabi Alonso worth?

Even a certain Russian gangster billionaire

will have to take a second mortgage

to buy Xabi Alonso.

When Michael Carrick

was at Spurs,

he was known as

a poor man's Xabi Alonso.

I think more like a homeless bum,

alcoholic, begging for coins,

eating at thrash bins Xabi Alonso.

Sir Alex Ferguson is so funny.

He said he bought Eric Cantona

for just GBP1 million years ago,

could Shevchenko be 35 times better

than Cantona?

What a statement,

coming from someone

who paid GBP30 million

for Juan Sebastian Veron.

Shouldn't he be asking

is Veron 30 times better

than Cantona?

If you really like Man Utd

you should buy their official book,

The Increase your IQ book

1215 hrs Aug 4th 2006

Hey boys and girls,

if you wanna send me emails,

tell me what you're thinking,

I may not reply,

but I promise I will read.

Don't bother sending me

Bible verses.

I am interested

in what you have to say.

Totally not interested

in what St Paul or Jesus said

2000 years ago.

Anyway, if you were less biased,

you'd realise

I was not only anti-Christian.

I was anti just about everything.

Its my nature,

I was born

with a very critical mind.

Anyway,

I think the current

anti-war protestors

are stupid.

I say let the Isreali

and the Lebanese

kill each other.

Let the Sunnis

and the Shi'ite

kill each other.

Let the Americans

waste all their resources

trying to export

their brand of puritan Christianity democracy

into Iraq.

I hope the war in Iraq,

lasts another 50 years.

Bankrupt the Americans.

Let Al Qaeda

waste their resources

sending suicide bombers

to their death.

Let them meet Allah,

Let's help them

meet Allah quickly.

I don't give a fuck.

History have shown,

that when the puritan America

went to war in Vietnam,

liberal flower power movement

had a chance

to blossom.

This time around,

its the Chinese economy

that is having a chance

to blossom.

Let these guys kill each other

so we can mind our business

live in peace

and prosper

1400 hrs August 2nd 2006

When I think of it,

the problem is really simple.

Every US president

is always a fundamental

born again Christian.

It does not matter

what religion you are,

so long as you're extreme,

you're a religious fanatic.

So the United States of America

is run by a religious fanatic.

Fundamental born again Christians

believe in Evangelism,

the spread of Christianity

and acceptance of salvation

through Christ.

Evangelism

is no more than

cultural imperialism.

The Europeans

are mostly Catholics.

Catholics don't really care

about Evangelism anymore.

They abandoned that 100 years ago.

They're more interested

in making babies now.

Besides, the British

are running dogs

of the Americans,

which makes a unified European

political stance impossible.

Only the Muslims,

understand the American agenda.

Because the Muslims

want to see the world

as a Muslim Caliphate as well.

So its Christian cultural imperialism

vs Muslim cultural imperialism.

A clash of civilisations.

Fortunately the Hindus

and the Buddhists

don't give a fuck

about converting the world.

What more,

although religious freedom

is sanctioned now

in China

BUT

people who practise religion

are banned

from the Chinese government.

That is wonderful.

Let's hope that China

becomes a world power

who is non religious.

Only then,

we can get

world peace.

Oh, please don't send nasty emails,

if you're a charismatic christian.

Everytime I walk into

a charismatic service,

I see people jumping around

singing ecstatically

preachers shouting esctatically

praying ecstatically

claiming to heal

the sick

and be blessed

with untold riches.

I can't decide

if charismatic christianity

is some form of shamanism

or another voodoo cult.

1105 hrs August 2nd 2006

I really don't know

anymore.

I've always thought

of the Isreali

as sovereign form

of terrorists.

And then again,

they're the only

mad motherfuckers

who can deal

with the Arabs.

UN suggested putting

an international peacekeeping force

at the border

of Lebanon.

What the fuck?

What peace

is there

for the force

to keep?

Let these two crazy bastards

kill each other.

When I think about it,

the Isreali and the Arabs

have one thing

in common.

The absence of pork

in their diet.

The rest of the pork eating world

tend to live in peace.

Guess I conclude

abstinence from pork

will seriously

fuck up

your brains