1350hrs June 28th 2006

Its funny how

well meaning friends

always advise,

"you deserve better than this".

That sounds nice

and reassuring.

A little bit

of ego massage.

But,

what if

I don't really

deserve any better

at all???

What if

this is

really as good

as it will

ever get?

What if

somehow God

has given all of us

just one chance

in our life

for marital and conjugal bliss,

and I've

already fucked it up?

1210 hrs June 27th 2006

They tell me,

If you love someone,

Set her free....

If she comes back,

she's yours.

If she doesn't,

she never was.

Ha ha ha

Who is bullshitting who?

I am a bullshitter,

I bullshit for a living.

Never never ever

try to bullshit

a bullshitter.

It is against

the psychological makeup

of women

to want to be

free.

If they find

the man

of their dreams,

they want

to tie down

and be tied down

quicker

than you can say

marriage.

The reason

why she wants

to be free,

is because

she wants

to explore

her options,

go find the man

of her dreams.

Her knight

in shining armour,

not your old rusted

and dented tin hat.

Thats why,

she doesn't

come back.

And if she does

come back,

its for all

the wrong reasons.

She could not find

her knight,

or the knight

just wanted

her for fucks sake.

So she comes back,

after having played

the whole field,

and thought aiya,

in the absence

of better alternative,

come back

to that loser la.

Guess what?

The better alternative

will INVARIABLY

come along.

Not if

but when.

And then

how?

1440 hrs June 15th 2006

I conclude

there are no ugly women

in all of Thailand.

One of the most

enduring impressions I had

was once in Bangkok

Chao Phraya River,

near this temple.

There was this lady

dressed virtually in rags.

She was selling trinkets

and other tacky souvenirs.

I was waiting for ex-wife,

who was buying grilled coconuts.

So I was absently mindedly

browsing at the trinkets

with absolutely no intention

whatsover

to purchase any.

Nonetheless,

she flashed me

this beautiful smile.

It melted my heart.

I grabbed a handful

of keychains,

and handed her

a fistful of baht.

Here in Swingabore,

I can walk into Ferragamo's

with all the intention

of spending thousands,

and I know,

I won't get

a smile

half

as beautiful.

Such is the

advanced state

of their society.

We're a real

backward society

in comparison.

Just compare

our favourite acronyms.

In Swingabore,

we have 5 Cs.

Condo, Car, Credit Card, Cash, Country Club......

In Thailand,

they have 3 Rs.

Religion, Ruler, Rice.....

How elegant.

Tells you alot

of our societies.

Like I always said.

Singaporeans are not

educated people.

We're only good

at passing exams.

2340 hrs June 14th 2006

Sigh,

you had to ask.

I didn't wanna

say it earlier.

Why socialise

over coffee?

Well, I guess

coffee stimulates

the mind,

and makes listening

to a fellow human being

remotely interesting.

Notice how you never needed coffee

when you're with dogs and cats?

Just like your date

looks much better

after the 6th beer.

By the 10th beer,

I thought I scored

Angelina Jolie

1610 hrs June 14th 2006

Wow,

already a response

to my coffee rant.

That has to be

record time.

No my dear,

I was NOT

comparing

apples with oranges.

I was in fact,

comparing

coffee with coffee!!!

1530 hrs June 14th 2006

Burke's, Starbucks, Coffee Bean, Coffee Club,

Dome, Spinelli etc etc etc

What the hell fuck

is going on?

Coffee was invented

by the Arabs

a thousand years ago.

Here in Asia,

we've been drinking coffee

hundreds of years

before

the Europeans

and Americans did.

We drink our coffee

black,

we drink our coffee

thick.

None of these American coffees

which tastes like syrup

and milk,

Decaf oh my God,

what the fuck for?

Drink something else

you homo.

OK OK

I respect your personal preference

just like I prefer my coffee

kopi O, 70 cents

at a HDB kopi tiam,

while you prefer to pay

$4 for a tall latte

at Starbucks.

Fair enough,

I prefer to taste my coffee

you prefer to taste your syrup

and whipped cream.

Just what goes into the latte

to justify it costing

6X more?

OK a coffee club

is invariably

more comfortable

than a kopi tiam.

A coffee club

is more than just

drinking coffee,

its a place

to relax

and socialise

with friends,

even impress

a date.

Hey, our fathers

and grandfathers

been doing that

at kopitiams

for years!!!

This generation

certainly did not

invent the concept

of socialising

over a coffee.

So again,

why is the price

6X more?

OK OK

I do pay $10

for a beer

at comfortable hotel lounges

when I could

have paid $3

for a beer

in a kopi tiam.

So conclusion is,

I'm paying

for rental space

in a coffee club,

for the priviledge

of drinking coffee

in a comfortable place.

But excuse me,

why the fuck

are people

taking away

their latte and cappucinos?

For that matter,

what justifies

the price difference

between a latte

and a cappucino?

More coffee?

More milk?

What the fuck

goes into

the price difference?

1240 hrs June 14th 2006

My dear,

stop badmouthing

your ex,

making him out to be

some monstrous bastard.

I hate to think,

if ever I fell for you

and it didn't quite work out

No prizes for guessing who

would the next bastard

you'd be bad mouthing.

A 3rd party

in a relationship/marriage,

is merely a SYMPTOM

never the CAUSE

of a sick

relationship/marriage.

The cause,

is most likely

the two protagonists

in your relationship

anyway.

And if,

you don't realise

the cause,

you will be powerless

to prevent

a recurrance

1240 hrs June 12th 2006

Singapore Education Minister

Tharman Shanmugaratnam

said his ministry is studying

whether to hire native speakers

to teach English in our schools.

Oh God, please NO.

Just what the hell fuck

is wrong with this country?

Everywhere in the world

where English is widely spoken

a localised accent evolves.

I love Singlish,

it has its own brand

of humour

that is lost

on anybody else

in the world,

with the possible exception

of Malaysians.

And any Singaporean

with sufficient grounding

in the English language

can easily switch

from Singlish

to properly grammared

and sentence structured

English,

at the drop

of a durian.

Do we really need

an Australian

with his assfucked awful accent

to teach our kids English?

I was once

at the Night Safari,

and lo and behold,

an Aussie broad,

was our tour guide.

Spewing her thick

Aussie accent,

who nobody understood

and sounds remarkably

like a beer laden drunk

heaving vomit.

Chinese people

are naturally gifted

with a clear voice.

Notice how CNBC and CNNs

of the world,

are using Chinese anchors

in broadcasting news.

No Aussies

for sure.

And here in Singapore,

we're going

in the other

direction.

Its bad enough

to walk along Boat Quay,

and see young local girls

whose face brighten up immediately,

when approached

by an angmor,

and trying desparately

to impress,

with a repulsive pariah accent

of part English,

part Australian,

part American.

If my kids

were to speak

this way.

I'll send them

to a village school

in rural China

1430 hrs June 9th 2006

Maybe I'm too old

and my value systems

are almost museum worthy.

But when I read about

metrosexuals and SNAGS,

Sensitive New Age Gentlemen,

I wanna puke.

True, its good for a man

to be in touch

with his emotions,

but for fuck's sakes

DON'T CRY.

I hate seeing

a grown man cry.

I hate seeing

a man complaining

and winching.

A real man

takes Life

by the horns

and give it

a good kick

in the groin.

He doesn't care

about getting

his hands

or his clothes

dirty,

he just wants

the job

to be done.

If a little cockroach

frightens you,

go for a sex change.

A man likes

to be strong,

to be a source

of strength

physical and mental

strength.

He protects

people around him,

He has backbone

and doesn't have time

to be weak.

He makes decisions

and live

with the consequences

no complains

no bitching.

He accepts responsibility

for his words

and actions.

He knows

Life is a Bitch.

He slaps her

and move on,

no winching

and moaning

about Life.

A man

does not need

to care

about sex.

He is focussed

providing

and protecting.

Trust me,

when you have

the means

to provide

and protect,

sex will come.

A real man

knows the importance

of his family.

He takes care

of them,

he doesn't go into

silly quarrels

with his brothers.

He is loyal

to his family,

and will even

lay down his life

to keep them safe.

A real man's word

is his honour.

He does not make promises

he does not intend

to keep.

He would rather die

than break

his word.

His words

and actions

are equally

powerful

and must

be honoured.

And for fuck sakes

he hates gossip.

He works hard

to make

his own money.

He spits

at luck

and decides

his own

destiny.

I won't take it

against you

if you have

your father's money,

but a real man

will multiply it

10 times.

And for fuck sakes,

look like a man.

With a belly

and breasts,

you don't look

like a man

when naked.

Lastly,

laugh out LOUD

for fuck sakes'

don't giggle

like a little girl

1240 hrs June 4th 2006

I do not like

to lead

by authority

vested upon me

by the company.

I like

to lead

by influence

because

you and me

are fighting towards

the same goal.

I like

to lead

by motivation

because

the job can be done

only when you are

empowered by

self belief.

I've always believed

that love

can be given,

but trust

and respect,

have to be

earned.

I don't want

to be

your boss.

I want

to be

your leader.

Because a boss

will say

GO!

But a leader

will say

LET'S GO!!!

I don't want

to order you

to do

what I want.

I want to

make you understand

why I need

somethings

to be done,

and I will spend time

after work

to show you

and you know

I always pay

for the beers.

Because if

I tell you,

you'd forget.

If I order you,

you'd resent.

If I show you,

you'll remember.

But if I involve you,

you'd understand.