1230 hrs August 18th 2004

Mr Lee Kuan Yew

Minister Mentor

quoted in the Shit Times

with reference to Tian An Men

"If I have to shoot 200,000 students

to save China

from another 100 years of disorder,

so be it"

I hate to think

of what he is

mentoring

our Prime Minister.

As far as I remembered in 1989,

the students were demonstrating,

as a result of China's austerity measures,

to cool a overheating economy.

It was the result of

economic mismanagement,

that further resulted

in currency devaluation

of the Renminbi

in 1994.

The killing of students

in Tian An Men,

was not to restore order

in China,

but the Communist Party's

brutal attempt

to retain power

in the hands of the

incompetent and corrupted,

at the expense

of thousands of students'

lives.

If that is the way our

government views

Tian An Men,

it only tells you

how much they value

human lives

for the sake of

keeping power

in PAP.

1800 hrs August 16th 2004

A friend of mine Ms E commented,

"You deserve better than this"

with regards to my relationship

with Ms X.

I find it strange that every well meaning friend

always say that.

YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS.

Deserve better than WHAT???

Just what if

this is as good

as it can ever get???

I think therein lies the problem with relationships,

when we think we deserve better,

we expect more.

And expectations is always

the start of disappointments.

So it follows,

if I have ZERO expectations,

I would have NO disappointments.

Thus,

I tell myself

You are one dumb ugly fuck

this is as good as it can get

You do NOT deserve any better

just appreciate what you have

and learn to deal with it.

Have no expectations

and everything is a blessing.

Expectations of deserving better,

will only lead to taking things for granted,

and disappointments.

Capice? Stupid and Ugly motherfucker?

2140 hrs August 15th 2004

I'm down with

cursed flu.

I really should not have allowed

Mr J to show up at work,

when he was down.

I should have put my foot down

and chased him home.

Damned, it ruined my weekend

with Ms X.

But at least,

I could see how Ms X,

tenderly cared for me,

feeding me with medicine,

and oatmeal cereal,

as I slumped into

a 19 hour sleep.

Mrs O sent me an SMS

said she was at a loss of words

reading my life experiences

on this blog.

Yeah, its true,

that my life is indeed

somewhat colourful.

I've been dealt with cards,

I didn't like.

But deal away Mister God,

for I am determined to play

Your cards,

best to my ability.

Even if I lose,

I have resolved,

to enjoy

this Game of Life,

nonetheless.

So show me Your Hand,

Mister God,

for I will play

Your Cards,

in ways

that You,

as my Creator

will be proud.

Speaking of which,

if my life

is a deck of cards,

then I think,

of my love life,

as just a book,

my book.

With each failed romance,

it is no more than

another chapter,

even if the book

has a bad ending,

I will enjoy

the reading part,

no more no less.

Just another chapter.

Some are more enjoyable

and meaningful

than the others.

Some, I can't wait

for the chapter to end,

sometimes more so.

Because,

with some humility,

EVERYONE I meet

in Life,

is my TEACHER.

1500 hrs August 13th 2004

When you strip society bare

of all its anthropological pretense,

of love and commitment,

of responsibility and fidelity,

until death do us fart,

we live in a zoological hierarchy.

Rich guys get the most beautiful girls,

the most beautiful girls get the richest guys.

In zoology,

we seek the best genetic material

to perpetuate our species.

If that is true,

then it follows that,

I should be able to appraise

the value of my sperm cells,

like I quantify the fair value

of a corporation.

However,

the positions of men and women

are not uniform across the world.

In Western societies,

material considerations

play a significantly lesser role,

than in Asia.

Which explains why,

is a white guy coming to Asia,

single and unattached,

for all he's worth probably

could not land a date

in his country

because he could

hardly compete

is yet

ranked so highly

in Asia.

But here in affluent Singapore?

Where white guys seem to wait

over 30 years

remaining single

and unattached,

so to be inunated

with local SPGs.

Either we're an island of prostitutes

like Batam,

where anything foreign is better

or

we're really a Third World society

afterall,

like Batam.

2200 hrs August 9th 2004

The theme for Singapore's 39th National Day

"A PROGRESSIVE SOCIETY"

Just what is outgoing PM Goh talking about?

Just what is the defination of "a progressive society"?

In my travels and observations,

perhaps I can volunteer an answer.

Progressive societies tend to embrace

broad and liberal mindedness

and tolerance.

Progressive societies tend to favour

civil liberties and social progress.

Progressive societies tend to be ahead

of trends and norms without discarding

cultural identities and values.

Are we broad and liberal minded?

Tow the official PAP line,

or you get squashed.

PM Goh promised a "consultative government".

He had 14 years to create one,

but he got bribed into shutting up,

with his million dollar salary.

He said last year,

he felt our pain.

But proceeded with CPF cuts

while still pays himself S$6000

a day.

Do we have civil liberties?

We do not have the freedom of speech

nor right to assemble.

Political debates were stifled

with huge defamation suits.

A progressive society recognises

that defamation is an integral part

of political debate

and therefore lawsuits

are capped.

John Kerry and George Bush

would be suing each other's pants off

if they were living in Singapore.

They defammed,

and let the people decide.

That is a progressive society.

Here, the government thinks

and talks,

on the people's behalf,

except that it's the peoples' voices

that were never heard,

just the Ruling Elite.

The newspapers and TV,

remained

the government's propaganda machine.

They never reported,

that here in sunny Singapore,

we have the highest elderly suicide rate

in the WORLD.

Some progressive society.

A progressive society is gracious,

ours is harsh and mean.

The highest execution rate per capita

in the WORLD.

Detention without trial,

a blantant disregard for

United Nations Human Rights Declaration.

Our people are generally

rude and obnoxious.

No room at all

for dissent

of any form.

Democracy will be chaotic

and destablise

our multi-racial society

they say.

Like as though,

by giving people

a voice,

would turn them into

wild lunatics.

6 people protested

the Iraqi War

outside the US Embassy,

got arrested.

Whilst millions round the globe

marched their demonstrations

in London, New York, Paris, Frankfurt, Sydney.

Are we ahead of trends and norms?

In being ahead,

one have to challenge current norms.

In order to challenge,

one have to be creative.

Creativity flourishes best

in a democratic environment.

Where you dare

to be different.

We've been bludgeoned

into following our leaders

with blind faith.

It has been set

into our psyche.

And when we have no creativity,

they bring in the foreign talent.

They tell us,

our unemployment rate

remains at 4.5%.

Pick any 10 of your old classmates,

and you'd find unemployment rate

closer to 10% -20%

Most have given up,

finding a job.

Talk to any random group of Singaporens

in their late 20s to 40s.

You'd find a generation of people,

who worked their lives,

in chase of the Singaporean dream,

only to be disillusioned

and disenfranchised

with our system

and society.

Ironically,

its the younger ones,

fresh out of school

or working just a few years,

that actually think,

they're really lucky

to be born Singaporean.

No other place on Earth,

can you find this phenomenon,

of docile youth

and angry middle aged.

Such is the complete efficiency

of this brain laundry.

When I hear little children

recite the National Pledge,

"to build a democratic society,

based on justice and equality"

I laugh,

we have all been

short changed.

And it hurts,

only when I laugh.

1000 hrs August 9th 2004

Just got back

from Shanghai.

First thing I noticed,

coming in from the airport,

are all the new condos

at Pudong.

Impressive,

but less than half sold.

The developers are racing

towards a property crisis.

When their bank loans

are not translating into

condo sales.

Soon, they will default.

And a banking crisis

will erupt,

exploding the economy.

When a country

pursues expensive self glorification projects,

ignoring economic realities,

it always gets ugly.

The Pearl TV Tower

is a case in point,

towering above

HuangPu River,

like a nightmarish appendage

from Terminator II

or Alien III.

Billions spent on

the high speed super bullet train,

airport to town,

in 8 minutes flat.

But ticket charge

is a mere RMB30.

Its gonna take them

about 500 years

to breakeven

running full capacity.

Average worker wage

about RMB2000 a month

in Shanghai,

and a beer costs

RMB45.

A social crisis

will flare.

I believe

China will collapse first

before it becomes

a world economic

powerhouse.

Just like

no commercial monopoly

ever becomes

efficient,

neither can

political monopolies.

On Singapore's 39th national day,

it's time we remember that,

as our political leaders

make one costly mistake

after another.

Nonetheless,

I stood

at the mouth

of YangTze River

pondering the waters

that gave rise

to the Chinese race.

In a city,

that once humiliated

its people.

No dogs and Chinese

allowed.

Shanghai,

China's prostitute.

Always been,

and always

will be.

1700 hrs August 4th 2004

I won't blame you

for leaving me,

if I lose my job,

become really poor,

and don't even

have the ability

to look after myself

let alone you.

I won't blame you,

for deserting me,

when my luck

takes a turn

for the worse,

when each new day

seems worse

than the previous.

I won't blame you

for the abandonment,

because I'm lost,

middle aged

and unemployable.

BUT

if I make it really good,

and have all the money

you ever dreamt,

plus all the 5 or 6 Cs

you ever craved,

just why the fuck

should I stay?