I have a new hero,
young Mr J.
His girlfriend caused him grievous hurt.
Instead of bitching in pain,
he asked,
What could I have done more,
in the relationship.
What a man.
Afterall,
a 3rd party is merely a symptom
of a sick relationship,
never never
the cause.
He took it like a man,
decided to forgive.
More admirably,
he suffered
in silence.
I know
betrayal of trust,
comes back and bite you
in the ass,
every now and then.
But he never mentioned
about the episode again.
That guy has
more balls
than a bowling alley.
Heck,
they ought to tear down
the Merlion
and put up a statue
of Mr J
at Sentosa.
Forgiveness
is divine.
As for the girlfriend,
I suppose lesson is learnt
and learnt well.
Learning a lesson
is the easy part.
It is applying the lesson learnt,
that most people
do not have another
chance.
20050123
20050111
1100 hrs January 11th 2004
Why do I
have to work so hard
to win your approval?
Why do I
have to look nervously
behind my shoulder
to see who else is pursuing you?
Why do I
have to tolerate
you encouraging other guys
to pursue you?
I know
I am well ahead
of the rest
of the pack,
but
I don't want
to be
another one of
your running dogs.
I'm tired,
dead fucking tired.
I just want
to rest in the arms
of a woman
who really treasures me.
have to work so hard
to win your approval?
Why do I
have to look nervously
behind my shoulder
to see who else is pursuing you?
Why do I
have to tolerate
you encouraging other guys
to pursue you?
I know
I am well ahead
of the rest
of the pack,
but
I don't want
to be
another one of
your running dogs.
I'm tired,
dead fucking tired.
I just want
to rest in the arms
of a woman
who really treasures me.
20050106
1400 hrs January 6th 2005
I think I've quite decided.
If my relationship with Ms X
does not work
eventually.
I'd give up citizenship,
in this stupid country,
go to Batam,
be an Indonesian.
With my CPF savings,
I'd open an orphanage
in Batam.
There are thousands,
of silly teenage girls,
who got themselves pregnant.
I'd take over the kids,
raise them up,
educate them,
impart a sense
of moral values.
If the mothers chooses,
they can work
in the orphanage too,
afterall they're usually
disowned by their families,
and evicted from their villages.
Who the hell needs a woman,
to start a family?
If my relationship with Ms X
does not work
eventually.
I'd give up citizenship,
in this stupid country,
go to Batam,
be an Indonesian.
With my CPF savings,
I'd open an orphanage
in Batam.
There are thousands,
of silly teenage girls,
who got themselves pregnant.
I'd take over the kids,
raise them up,
educate them,
impart a sense
of moral values.
If the mothers chooses,
they can work
in the orphanage too,
afterall they're usually
disowned by their families,
and evicted from their villages.
Who the hell needs a woman,
to start a family?
20050105
1030 hrs January 5th 2005
I was watching a kid
playing Tamagotchi.
Tiny egg shaped electronic device,
where he has an electronic pet,
he has to feed and attend to
with tender loving care.
Otherwise,
that electronic pet
will die.
Strikes me as weird,
that a kid
can spend all his time,
tending to his electronic pet,
ensuring its health,
and getting jackshit
in return,
other than
a perverted sense
of satisfaction,
that he kept
his tamagotchi alive.
Sounds quite a lot
like
my relationship
with women.
playing Tamagotchi.
Tiny egg shaped electronic device,
where he has an electronic pet,
he has to feed and attend to
with tender loving care.
Otherwise,
that electronic pet
will die.
Strikes me as weird,
that a kid
can spend all his time,
tending to his electronic pet,
ensuring its health,
and getting jackshit
in return,
other than
a perverted sense
of satisfaction,
that he kept
his tamagotchi alive.
Sounds quite a lot
like
my relationship
with women.
20050103
1130 hrs January 3rd 2005
A bit on the economics
of things.
Interesting year,
going forward.
Its like playing musical chairs,
continue playing the game,
waiting for the music to stop,
but don't be the last one
looking for the chair.
We all know,
the US twin deficits
of current account
and trade account
will blow up
at some point.
Nobody can continue
deficit spending
indefinitely.
The world continues
to finance the US excesses
as long as they remain
the world's only superpower.
India is grossly overrated,
they are simply not
China.
You cannot have a manufacturing base,
when your trucks travel
at 12 kmph
sharing your highways
with cows
and bullock carts.
You cannot have a service industry,
call yourself an internet incubator,
when your phones don't even work.
Plus, the Indians
are probably the most
disliked race
in the world.
Simply no sense
of honour,
in general.
Indonesia,
right country
wrong people.
No bloody sense
of work ethic.
Everybody is
on the take.
It is however mine
to exploit.
Singapore,
great past
no bloody future.
The million dollared ministers
have no clue
how to push this economy
forward
with its own momentum.
We are merely dragged along
by other economies.
Bottom line is
I am however positive
for the markets,
liquidity will continue
to drive.
No guarantees,
that I can make money.
Except one guarantee,
I will not make money,
if I don't risk it.
of things.
Interesting year,
going forward.
Its like playing musical chairs,
continue playing the game,
waiting for the music to stop,
but don't be the last one
looking for the chair.
We all know,
the US twin deficits
of current account
and trade account
will blow up
at some point.
Nobody can continue
deficit spending
indefinitely.
The world continues
to finance the US excesses
as long as they remain
the world's only superpower.
India is grossly overrated,
they are simply not
China.
You cannot have a manufacturing base,
when your trucks travel
at 12 kmph
sharing your highways
with cows
and bullock carts.
You cannot have a service industry,
call yourself an internet incubator,
when your phones don't even work.
Plus, the Indians
are probably the most
disliked race
in the world.
Simply no sense
of honour,
in general.
Indonesia,
right country
wrong people.
No bloody sense
of work ethic.
Everybody is
on the take.
It is however mine
to exploit.
Singapore,
great past
no bloody future.
The million dollared ministers
have no clue
how to push this economy
forward
with its own momentum.
We are merely dragged along
by other economies.
Bottom line is
I am however positive
for the markets,
liquidity will continue
to drive.
No guarantees,
that I can make money.
Except one guarantee,
I will not make money,
if I don't risk it.
1115 hrs January 3rd 2005
Another year over,
a new one just begun.
I dunno why,
but I am such a sucker
for such milestones,
unlike Ms X and Mr D.
As I take stock of the old year,
I put new aspirations into the new year.
Chiefly,
to unclutter and prioritise
the biggest issues
in my Life.
Number 1 priority,
is still Ms X.
I want to continue my crusade,
making her feel
like the luckiest girl
in the world.
Continue to look
at the bigger picture.
Continue to work
towards relationship success.
God knows I cannot
afford another relationship failure.
True, the reality is I was happiest
when I never needed to try.
But the reality is
I have to try
damned hard
to make it work.
Even if it doesn't work,
it must not be
for the lack
of trying.
Number 2 priority,
is Mr D and PT Roda Makmur.
That is where my financial future is.
I have to continue to work
towards making this a success,
even if it takes a hell lot
of self-sacrifice.
Again concentrate on
the bigger picture.
Number 3 priority,
is being a good employee
of ICAP Financial Products.
As much as I hate this job,
it is paying for PT Roda Makmur.
I cannot bite
the hand that feeds me.
I have to ensure
equity derivatives work well
and blaze new markets
for them.
It is my job
afterall.
And a job worth doing,
is always worth doing
bloody well.
Number 4 priority,
is my family.
I have to recognise
that I cannot change
deeply ingrained resentments
in family fights.
Solve what I can,
ignore what I cannot.
Understand each family member,
and how they feel,
but stick to my principles,
on what is right.
Number 5 priority,
is myself.
I must continue to develop,
as a person.
Be good
be nice.
Be smart
and analyse.
The importance
of being earnest
and focussed.
The beauty
of being goal
orientated.
God grant me peace
and strength
this 2005
a new one just begun.
I dunno why,
but I am such a sucker
for such milestones,
unlike Ms X and Mr D.
As I take stock of the old year,
I put new aspirations into the new year.
Chiefly,
to unclutter and prioritise
the biggest issues
in my Life.
Number 1 priority,
is still Ms X.
I want to continue my crusade,
making her feel
like the luckiest girl
in the world.
Continue to look
at the bigger picture.
Continue to work
towards relationship success.
God knows I cannot
afford another relationship failure.
True, the reality is I was happiest
when I never needed to try.
But the reality is
I have to try
damned hard
to make it work.
Even if it doesn't work,
it must not be
for the lack
of trying.
Number 2 priority,
is Mr D and PT Roda Makmur.
That is where my financial future is.
I have to continue to work
towards making this a success,
even if it takes a hell lot
of self-sacrifice.
Again concentrate on
the bigger picture.
Number 3 priority,
is being a good employee
of ICAP Financial Products.
As much as I hate this job,
it is paying for PT Roda Makmur.
I cannot bite
the hand that feeds me.
I have to ensure
equity derivatives work well
and blaze new markets
for them.
It is my job
afterall.
And a job worth doing,
is always worth doing
bloody well.
Number 4 priority,
is my family.
I have to recognise
that I cannot change
deeply ingrained resentments
in family fights.
Solve what I can,
ignore what I cannot.
Understand each family member,
and how they feel,
but stick to my principles,
on what is right.
Number 5 priority,
is myself.
I must continue to develop,
as a person.
Be good
be nice.
Be smart
and analyse.
The importance
of being earnest
and focussed.
The beauty
of being goal
orientated.
God grant me peace
and strength
this 2005
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