20050103

1115 hrs January 3rd 2005

Another year over,

a new one just begun.

I dunno why,

but I am such a sucker

for such milestones,

unlike Ms X and Mr D.

As I take stock of the old year,

I put new aspirations into the new year.

Chiefly,

to unclutter and prioritise

the biggest issues

in my Life.

Number 1 priority,

is still Ms X.

I want to continue my crusade,

making her feel

like the luckiest girl

in the world.

Continue to look

at the bigger picture.

Continue to work

towards relationship success.

God knows I cannot

afford another relationship failure.

True, the reality is I was happiest

when I never needed to try.

But the reality is

I have to try

damned hard

to make it work.

Even if it doesn't work,

it must not be

for the lack

of trying.

Number 2 priority,

is Mr D and PT Roda Makmur.

That is where my financial future is.

I have to continue to work

towards making this a success,

even if it takes a hell lot

of self-sacrifice.

Again concentrate on

the bigger picture.

Number 3 priority,

is being a good employee

of ICAP Financial Products.

As much as I hate this job,

it is paying for PT Roda Makmur.

I cannot bite

the hand that feeds me.

I have to ensure

equity derivatives work well

and blaze new markets

for them.

It is my job

afterall.

And a job worth doing,

is always worth doing

bloody well.

Number 4 priority,

is my family.

I have to recognise

that I cannot change

deeply ingrained resentments

in family fights.

Solve what I can,

ignore what I cannot.

Understand each family member,

and how they feel,

but stick to my principles,

on what is right.

Number 5 priority,

is myself.

I must continue to develop,

as a person.

Be good

be nice.

Be smart

and analyse.

The importance

of being earnest

and focussed.

The beauty

of being goal

orientated.

God grant me peace

and strength

this 2005