Singapore Education Minister
Tharman Shanmugaratnam
said his ministry is studying
whether to hire native speakers
to teach English in our schools.
Oh God, please NO.
Just what the hell fuck
is wrong with this country?
Everywhere in the world
where English is widely spoken
a localised accent evolves.
I love Singlish,
it has its own brand
of humour
that is lost
on anybody else
in the world,
with the possible exception
of Malaysians.
And any Singaporean
with sufficient grounding
in the English language
can easily switch
from Singlish
to properly grammared
and sentence structured
English,
at the drop
of a durian.
Do we really need
an Australian
with his assfucked awful accent
to teach our kids English?
I was once
at the Night Safari,
and lo and behold,
an Aussie broad,
was our tour guide.
Spewing her thick
Aussie accent,
who nobody understood
and sounds remarkably
like a beer laden drunk
heaving vomit.
Chinese people
are naturally gifted
with a clear voice.
Notice how CNBC and CNNs
of the world,
are using Chinese anchors
in broadcasting news.
No Aussies
for sure.
And here in Singapore,
we're going
in the other
direction.
Its bad enough
to walk along Boat Quay,
and see young local girls
whose face brighten up immediately,
when approached
by an angmor,
and trying desparately
to impress,
with a repulsive pariah accent
of part English,
part Australian,
part American.
If my kids
were to speak
this way.
I'll send them
to a village school
in rural China
