Seems like only yesterday,
when I looked
at the stars above
and stood
in the shadows
of the moonlight.
The vastness
of the rooftop terrace
stuck an empty chord.
Nothing seems more bleak
than buying a condo alone.
The street lights
were shining below,
I saw a happy couple
holding each other,
As I held my can of beer.
Coming home
through an empty hallway
staggering upstairs,
in drunken stupor
My only redemption.
I cursed
another blown lightbulb
On the chandelier.
I peered out
Of the staircase window,
The Korean kids
Were laughing at the pool.
I’ve always loved
the laughter Of young children.
But this time,
In my drunken haze
They seemed like
A mockery.
Annyong fucking hasaeyo to you too.
And to your obnoxious father
Who is at least 10 years
Younger than me.
Oh God,
What is happening to me?
As a kid,
I used to enjoy
My own solitude.
Who the fuck was I kidding?
A middle aged old man
Alone
And lonely.
What does it take
To fill that abyss Of my soul?
Is it so difficult
To want to share
Your life a little bit?
To find joy
In being wholly responsible
For someone
Other than yourself?
God,
Can you hear
My despair?
He did,
And my prayers became
A little boy.
