Back from a week in Seoul,
the land whose one daughter
I once fell in love with
and hurt me
really bad.
Guess the recent episodes
in my life
are conditioned reflexes
of unresolved pain.
Bitterness
and paranoia
from rejection,
betrayal
and abandonment.
I crave acceptance
and love.
I wanted to be really
really treasured.
Maybe I got it all wrong,
maybe happiness
should be internally generated.
maybe happiness
is just a biochemical reaction
from a flood of serantonin
maybe happiness
can be achieved
with a happy pill
maybe happiness
can be found
in some Buddhist chant.
I dunno
I fucking dunno.
