2300 HRS 20 th January 2012

Happy Birthday Dad,

You would have been

84

You left us

3 years ago

I wished I could tell you

the things you said

the things you did

as a husband

and a father

are so much clearer

now.

There was a time,

we were poor,

you gave every cent

to Mum

who gave you

a measly

weekly allowance

of $15

Once you asked me,

Boon, do you know

how it feels,

I cannot even afford

to buy beers

for my friends?

Sorry Dad

I didn't know then,

I do now.

Mum used to accuse you

of having a mistress.

I actually believed her

and hated you.

I can't believe

how stupid I was.

Mistresses cost money

and $15 was not

mistress money

even then.

I hated Mum

for nagging about money

But you used to tell me

She's not a bad mother

Just a hot tempered one

If you lived the life she lived

You wiould understand.

No matter how bad

money was,

she would always buy

story books for you.

Yes I had more Enid Blyton

and Hardy Boys

than anyone I knew.

Not bad for a

bus driver's kid.

You had to work

2 jobs.

Your school bus business

in the day time,

and as a STC bus driver

at night.

Every night

I would wake up

when I heard your motorbike

pulling in.

I would rush to you

and you would carry me

on your broad shoulders

Daddy Horse Daddy Horse

I squealed in delight.

You would give me

50 cents

and I would immediately

deposit in the piggy bank.

That's your school money, Son

you said.

Study hard.

You needed to overhaul

the school bus engine.

Mum said,

Take the money

from Boon.

We took my piggy banks

to POSB Siglap

I saw the tears

in your eyes

when you collected

the cheque.

I didn't know why

I do now.

It hurt you

like a knife through

your heart

to even touch

my money.

All your life

you just gave and gave

until there is no life energy left

for you to give.

Happy Birthday Dad

I miss you so