20041208

2000 hrs December 8th 2004

Daddy,

Just what was I supposed to do?

I don't know why

its so hard

to talk to you.

We could never see

eye to eye.

I wanted you

out of my life,

but yet,

always felt

that I could have done

a whole lot better.

I wished

we could turn

the pages back

to 40 years ago.

I never could

understand you.

I wished you realised

you hurt me too.

Do you know

my biggest dream,

is to have a beer

with you?

I always felt

you were selfish,

inconsiderate,

vindictive

and vicious even.

But I never lived your life,

I do not deserve to judge.

Because the things you say

are so much clearer now,

as the older I become,

I start living your life,

everyday, day after day.

You're an old man now,

I'm middle aged.

So many cruel words

have been spoken,

so many unkind deeds

have been done.

Is it too late,

to be your son?

You're a good guy Dad,

just fucked up

by Life.

Sorry it took me so long

to figure that out.

I was blinded

by my bitterness

consumed

by my resentment.

Can we have a beer together

sometime?

Just you and me,

because Daddy,

I need some help here,

and you've seen

it all.

Deep down,

I've never dared to admit,

you've always been

my hero

since I was a kid