20050613

1100 hrs June 13th 2005

In the darkness

of the soul,

it is always 3am.

That is how I felt,

when I walked the lonely corridors

to the defense lawyer's office.

It was like a scene from CSI

and I was merely acting

a role,

this cannot be true.

But anyway,

I've done myself in

Big Time.

Am under psychiatric treatment

for schizophrenia.

This cannot be true.

But it surely is

as I popped the schizo pills

maximum dosage

to control paranoia.

Its like there is

a raging stranger

that resides deep inside,

erupting to come out

at the worst

possible moment.

How does a woman

speak of love,

when neither her words

nor actions

remotely reflect it?

How does a woman

speak of love,

when both her words

and actions

cause intense hurt?

Now it has

driven me

to clinical insanity.

I should have listened

and let go,

when I had

the chance.

But I am not one

to live in regret.

Take responsibility

and pray

for the best

possible outcome.

So help me God