Exactly four years ago,
on this day,
like a vision
of daybreak
on a warm Saturday morning sun
she slipped into
the shadows
of my life.
Exactly
where have we been,
in 4 years?
And
where are we
going to?
4 weeks slip into
4 months into
4 years
and it appears
we're still
running
on the same old spot.
Like a roller coaster
with its thrills and spills,
its ups and downs,
exuberent highs
and devastating lows,
but always back
to the same old spot.
Still at the starting line,
we never really ran.
Or maybe,
it was just me
who ran
so far ahead
of you.
You did not run,
maybe
you just didn't
want to.
And each time I look back
I gotta drag myself
back
to the starting line
all over again,
where you've been.
Like in the Greek mythology,
Sisyphus pushing the huge boulder
up the hill
only to tire
and see the boulder
rolling back
to the bottom,
and for all eternity
Sisyphus been condemned
to keep pushing
the boulder
up the hill,
a task
that will never
ever be completed.
Love is like that boulder
it is never done,
it takes all your energy
and it always roll back
to the same old spot.
You know
our happiest days
were
when we never really
have to try
very hard.
Is ours just a dream
that will never
ever come true,
or is ours a nightmare
that will never
ever go away?
Just for how long more
do I have
to keep hanging on?
To this illusion
of the unreality
of love
or the reality
of unlove?
Just for how long more?
do I have to keep pushing
this boulder of love?
Will we ever reach
the top of the hill
together?
