20040921

2200 hrs September 21st 2004

So its coming to the end

of ex-wife's birthday.

I've celebrated it,

with booze and smokes,

plus some pointless reminicsing.

Perhaps we'd talk a little bit

about love tonight.

Loving a woman,

got to be an act

of Total Surrender.

Of Complete

Unconditional and

Irrevocable Acceptance.

Like the Billy Joel song,

I'd take the good times,

I'd take the bad times,

I'd take you

Just the way you are.

We miss the point,

when we shed tears,

and say,

I'm suffering

for a love that is not

worth it.

Worth what?

We suffer because

we feel,

that we give

more than we receive.

We suffer because

we think,

that our love is going

unappreciated.

We suffer because

we are unable,

to determine

the eventual outcome

of our love.

We suffer because,

we realise

that our love is

not enough.

But therein lies

the seed

of spiritual growth.

Because love is not

about give and take.

Giving and taking

is a commercial transaction

of mutual exploitation.

Love is

Give and Give.

When you find joy

in giving,

and not expecting anything

in return.

It is madness,

but an insanity

I truly enjoy.

Because when I love,

I've conquered myself,

I've conquered my selfishness,

I've conquered my selfcentric demands,

I've conquered my innermost fears.

When I've conquered,

I shall fear no loss.

Because really,

there is no more

downside.