This is bad
really bad
I found an article online
by this psychiatrist
Dr Tara J. Palmatier
13 Signs your wife or girlfriend
is a Borderline Personality Disorder
or Narcissist.
(1) Censoring your thoughts and feelings.
Check
I truly edit myself
because I live in
constant fear
of her reaction
(2) Everything is your fault
Check
By her own admission
"If I don't blame you
who can I blame?"
Sometimes to the point
of absurdity
When I wonder
if she actually believes
in what she said,
because no honest
or sane person
would believe.
(3) Constant Criticism
Check
Nothing I ever do
is good enough
I dared not even
buy her a birthday present
I rather tell her
go choose what you want.
Nothing I ever do
is good enough
Unless she specifically
instructs me
Everything I do
is wrong
Everything I don't do
is also wrong
Worse still,
NOTHING NICE
ever comes out
of her mouth
(4) Control Freak
Check
I cannot have an opinion
or a feeling
on anything
unless she tells me to
She goes through
my handphone
She reads
every single message
every single night
wanting to know
what I said
to others
(5) Mr Hyde and Dr Jekyll
Check
Anyone who meets her
will fall in love with her
until you actually
live with her
She can be so kind
and loving
And then transform
into this vicious
abusive mutant
that I don't recognise
(6) Your feelings don't count
Check
If ever I reveal
how I truly feels
and it is in contradiction
to her
God help me
She will ravage me
verbally.
When it means so much
to me
to have her
by my side,
when I receive my
exam results.
She rather be glued
on Facebook.
On Chinese New Year Eve
Reunion dinner,
how sacred it is
to me
for the family
to dine together,
She went ahead
with dinner
without me.
How I felt,
like an idiot
waiting for the maid
to finish cooking
and when I went out
to the dining room
to check
what's taking so long,
actually thinking
that it might have been
such a special dish
that is taking so long,
but NO
reunion dinner is over
and Daddy is not invited.
And oh,
on my 48th birthday,
her siblings bought me
a birthday cake.
She absolutely refused
to leave the bedroom
to join in the cake cutting
and birthday song.
We had to carry
the birthday cake
to her royal highness bedroom
and awkwardly
sing the birthday song
as hastily as possible.
Pathetic
(7) Questioning my own sanity
Check
I really wonder
if the fault is all mine
that my expectations
of a wife
is truly unachievable
and unrealistic.
That my own pent up anger
is lack of self control
(8) Deny she actually said this or done that
Check
In quieter moments,
I try to gently confront her
about something she said
or done
which I am truly unhappy about
And she will deny outright
Accusing me of being
absent minded
at my age
and conjuring up
bad impressions of her
making her out to be
a bitch
I am always stunned
how can she lie
so blantantly
and actually
have self doubts
Even worse,
when she accuses me
of infidelity
Jeez,
mistresses cost money
and I gave her all
my money
leaving just enough
to buy Breadtalk
and cigarettes.
Can she even believe
her accusation?
And worse than worst,
accusing me
of stealing money
when I ask her
for money
to pay
the household bills!!!
I even have
a speadsheet
that tracks every cent
and wanted to show her
but she could not
be bothered.
I now pay the household bills
through her bank account
so not a penny more
leaves her bank.
She even demanded
to see
my CPF account
wanting to see her name
as sole beneficiary
to my assets
not even Van-Dylan
Marriages are supposed
to be based
on the foundations of
Trust and Respect
It is bad enough
not to be trusted
for no reason
but to have your integrity
questioned
by someone
whom is supposed
to trust and respect
you.
Sad
(9) Isolating yourself from friends and family
Check
She finds reasons
to hate
and dispise
every single one
of my family members
and friends.
Even the once a month
gathering
with my alumni
Every single time
I get home,
she will always
find reasons,
to start a fight
Such that
I fear
having anything
to do at all
with my friends,
or family.
And then she proceeds
to try and choose
my friends
for me.
Insisting I meet so and so,
have drinks with them.
(10) Walking on Landmines
Check
Every single day
Every single minute
Every waking moment
I live in sheer
pure unadulterated
petrified fear.
I just don't know
when will she next
explode
or be moody.
People have remarked
how much I aged
in the past 6 years,
the stress is
beyond human capacity
to tolerate
(11) what goes up must come down
Check
Happiness never lasts
For at most 2 days
and I am not kidding
of peaceful
and loving
family life
when she made me feel
so appreciated
and then
she will call me
LOSER
and being married to me
is such a SHAME.
(12) Unlevel playing field
Check
She makes all the rules
for me
She hates it
when I come home
even with the slightest wiff
of alcohol
but she comes home
totally drunk
and legless
Her friends
had to call me
go down to the carpark
and carry
her lifeless body
home.
(13) Don't leave me
Check
The times
when all the bottled up
anger
bitterness
frustrations
insults
got too much
and I pack
She would come
running back
promising
things will change
But at most
for 48 precious hours
Things never change
We've been down
this road
so many times
So there you go,
Borderline Personality Disorder
or Narcissisist
13 out of 13
100%
I am not naive enough
to believe
everything I read
on the Internet,
but it is not
looking good.
You know,
I am the one
that has been suffering
sleepless nights
loss of appetite
since she left
4 nights ago
I have actually lost
2 kg
But I can bet
my life,
she is sleeping
very soundly
as I type
or maybe Facebook
all through
the night
at Anthony & Ha's place.
She simply has
no capacity
for empathy
or consideration
for my feelings.
