So here we are
Once more
Out of Sight
and perhaps for you
Out of Mind too.
We've been down
this road
far too often.
Do we want
to go through this
again?
Its like a
roller coaster ride
ups and downs
thrills and spills
fun and tears
but always
back
to this same
old stop.
We never get
anywhere
never.
I recognised this
for the longest time.
I cried out
for help.
We needed help
I tried to reach
your Mother
because the only person
you ever listen to
is your Mother.
Because of language
and distance,
I had to go through
your cousin.
Prior to that,
I tried to reach out
to your Mother
through you sister.
But Hien
is so timid
and meek.
Probably did not know
what to do
how to handle.
So I went to your cousin.
I repeatedly said,
this is not a judgement
nor an indictment
of you,
but a desperate plea
for help.
We need help
the marriage needs help
We been through this
repeatedly
for years
but we ploughed on
and on.
Till early 2013
I felt I really needed
to talk
to your Mother
screaming out
in desperation
and sheer despair.
But
you were
more concerned
about loss of face.
You were more concerned
of others knowing
that ours
is not
the picture perfect
Facebook posts
you want others
to think.
There were issues
and they still persist
to this minute.
But NO
your royal decree
is
This is the way
the marriage is
This is the way
I want it to be
Take it
or leave it.
No compromise
No negotiation
No exception
Well,
for so long,
we had put
our differences aside
for so long,
we had swept
our problems
under the bed
All because
we wanted
a happy family environment
for our son.
You asked,
many times.
Why I no longer say
I LOVE YOU
I just couldn't
It felt like
a hypocritical lie
maybe
just a half truth.
I've often begged
you
to turn on the light
and see the mess
that this marriage is.
And together
we clean it up.
We need
to get our act
together
We need
to fix
our problems.
For our son.
But NO,
you were too proud
you just want
to revert
to status quo.
This is the way
it is,
take it or leave it.
This time,
I won't beg you
to return
to this loveless marriage.
This time
I think it might be better
you go your way
and I go mine.
This time,
I actually believe
it is best
for our son.
We have seen
his anguish
everytime
we fight.
Even as a tiny toddler
he tried
to intervene.
We put him
through this ordeal
far too many times.
If we are not
going to resolve
our issues
I rather
we live
separate lives.
So no more fights
for Van-Dylan
to witness
There really
is no more use
in ploughing on
and on.
The ground
IS DEAD
