1455 HRS MAY13TH 2007

The other day,

I went to see my Dad.

Suddenly,

in his senility,

a brief moment

of serendipity

burst forth.

He commanded me,

"Boon who bullied you?"

"Nobody bullied me Dad"

"Who bully you, you must tell me OK?"

"OK Dad, I'll tell you, don't worry"

It struck me,

that I had this same conversation

with him 36 years ago,

when I was in Primary 1.

He was 43 years old then,

I am 43 years old now.

The powerful coincidence

both thrilled my imagination,

but saddened my consciousness.

Because I realised,

his consciousness has reverted

to a time,

when he was a younger

43 year old

strong and protective father,

and I was a small 7 year old kid,

unable to fend for myself.

Somehow,

in his senility,

his consciousness

had gone back,

like as though time

was frozen

in the peak

of his life.

He may not be

the best Daddy in the world,

but he sure was

the best Daddy he knew how.

I've always known him,

to be a big eater,

afterall he was a stout

and powerfully strapped man

with big broad shoulders.

But when we ate together

as a family,

I always realised,

he was happier

just to watch

the family eating.

He gained far more pleasure

watching us partake

of the food he provided,

than pleasure

from the meal itself.

His life,

was one of

unrelentless giving

to his family.

As I wonder,

in the senility

of his day,

where does his

consciousness revisit?

Clearly, the times

when he could give and give,

and expect or want nothing

in return.

Why was I thrilled

by this conincidence

that I so happen

to be 43 now?

Because,

it is a little miracle

by itself.

I would like to believe

Dad said that to me

on purpose,

knowing

I am at the age,

he was then.

He wanted to tell me,

that one day,

when I am bed ridden

and my consciousness,

clutching on

to what I used to be,

I would have no regrets,

because

I gave and gave,

to people that matter,

like the way he did.

That I led my life,

making each single day count,

because he taught me,

there is far more meaning

to giving

than taking.

Relax Dad,

you can rest well.

Because you have taught

me well.