1110 hrs March 23rd 2007

God,

I'm worse

than a fucking woman.

I probably grew

a pair of ovaries

in the last few days.

Just who the hell fuck

was I trying to bullshit?

It hurts like hell

every now and then.

Love can either bring you

to heaven

or hell

or both.

But at least

you go somewhere.

I needed you

so badly

in my life.

My heart yearns

to go to bed

with you

each night.

So comfortable

snuggling up

to sleep

and hear

your soft gentle

breath

as you tenderly

waft into

unconsciousness.

I still feel

your heartbeat

as I held you

in my arms

and feel

the divine softness

of your breast

in my hand.

When the day breaks,

it comforts my soul

when the first thing I see

is you by my side.

As I gentle plant

a kiss

on your lips,

unfailingly

you will wake up

with a bright smile

as I say goodbye

and go to work.

I miss

rushing home

after work

so I can have dinner

with you,

open a bottle of wine

and chat into

the wee hours

of the morning.

You're a quiet girl,

but somehow

you tell me

every little thing

every little event

of your day.

I enjoyed

engaging your mind

in conversation,

connecting your soul.

Sometimes I wonder

if God actually cares

about Love.

Christians tell me

God loves the world.

I have all the reasons

to believe,

He fucking hates us

to death.

Love is a flip

of the coin.

Its such a gamble.

Heads you win,

Tails I lose.

If God is Love,

He would have cared

about the way I feel.

Clearly

He doesn't

give a shit