2125 hrs March 24th 2007

I woke up this morning

determined to stop

missing you.

Did the things,

I usually do

when I'm alone

and single

on weekends.

Brought the boat out

to the open sea,

and a Dalai Lama book

in hand.

I was so bitter

and angry.

In all my past failed relationships

I always felt,

I could have done better.

With you,

I tried,

I really tried

to make you happy.

I wonder

if you knew

how hard I tried.

I wonder

if you knew

how much this relationship

have cost me.

You saw

how fast I aged

in the last 2-3 years

right before your eyes.

The constant pressure

and stress

resulting from

the persistant uncertainty.

I felt I had so much

love to give,

but you refused my love.

Well, you're not

the first woman

to walk out

of my life,

and at the rate I'm going,

you're probably not

the last either.

I'd just take it

that you're just another somebody

that I used to love.

No I don't really

want to be friends either,

I have enough friends.

What I want now,

is to achieve

a zen like

calm and peaceful state

of mind.

I want to develop

a caring and giving

compassion

in me.

For now,

any contact with you

will distrupt

the state of mind

I am hoping

to achieve.

Please go,

I wish you happiness

and thank you

for being another person

who was once

in my life