1950 hrs March 19th 2007

I think when women cry

they don't cry for others

they cry for themselves.

Why spent the last 2 days crying

over this little break up?

When in our 4 years together,

you spent the first year

looking at other alternatives,

spent the second year

making me feel not good enough

spent the last 2 years

trying to move out.

Well, you finally got what you wanted,

and the last remnants

of our life together

were shipped out

over the weekend.

Why the sadness

why the tears?

Shouldn't you be celebrating?

Like our last night together,

I insisted we pop

the Dom Perignon?

I was saving that bottle

for our wedding actually.

It was I,

who spent the better part

of the last 4 years,

doing everything I humanly can

to win your heart.

Women came and went

out of my life,

I have always felt

I could have done better.

With you,

I honestly don't know

what else could I have done

to save this relationship.

I really don't.

I tried so hard,

God knows how hard

to win you over

and make you wholly mine.

Maybe I could have tried harder,

maybe I should not even have tried.

It was a battle

I simply could not win.

I felt like a Nissan March,

trying to race a Porsche.

Going into this relationship,

felt like I went into a gun fight,

armed with a water pistol.

The level of appreciation

is simply non-existent.

As I am made to feel inferior

in your family's social standing,

And made to feel like

a lower form of life

in my physical stature.

I honestly

cannot take it

anymore,

but admit defeat.

I did all I could,

but lost,

because I simply

wasn't good enough.

And defeat I accept

like a man.

Love is supposed

to feel good

and wonderful.

I've felt like a dying patient

in ICU.