1400 HRS MARCH 30TH 2007

I'm sick tired

of writing

love and anti love shit.

Its like comparing

hot shit

and cold shit.

Let's do numbers crunching

for a change.

There are about

1 million residential units

in Singapore.

About 20% of them

are private property.

Which means about 200,000

private houses.

75% of them

are condos,

so we have

about 150,000

condos

in Singapore.

They tell me,

that condo vancancy rate

is 6.6%.

So that means

9900 condos

are vacant.

The government projected

that 450,000 new jobs

will be created

in the next 5 years.

Which makes it

90,000 new jobs

a year.

And a 50% increase

in population

by 2015,

a population of

6.5 million.

There is no way

any country's population

can increase by 50%

in 8 years

by organic growth.

It will be

foreigners

moving in,

taking up the majority

of the new jobs created.

With condo vacancy

of 9900 units,

as opposed

to 90,000 new jobs

created,

I don't care how many

jobs go to

HDB dwellers,

you will have

a housing deficit

for foreigners.

It is already happening.

Rentals

are going to

go right through

the roof.

True new supply,

will quickly come in.

Judging by the number

of en bloc sales

recently.

But the true value

will be

in suburban areas

which is currently

going for $450-$600 psf

as opposed to

$3000 psf in Marina Bay

$4000 psf in Orchard Road.

Two weeks ago,

SMRT outlined

its new MRT grid

to be ready

by 2015.

This island

will be criss crossed

with subways.

Any condo project

that is accessible

to MRT

to the town area,

will have a huge

rental demand.

All this is of course,

taking the assumption,

that we don't piss off

our neighbours so much

that they'd nuke us

before the year

is over.

1207 HRS MARCH 29TH 2007

Why do you torture me

by telling me

everything that is going on

in your life.

You acted like as though

I have no right

to live my life.

I really don't want

to know

and I really don't care

anymore.

The love I had

for you,

had been washed

from my veins

into the drain.

Leave me alone now

I do not appreciate

your show

of friendship.

We no longer share

a life together,

I don't want to know

what is going on

with yours now.

Don't you even realise

that it hurts

by letting me look in

to your life

as an outsider?

Leave me alone now

and let me disappear

from the agony

and pain

you caused me.

Let me move on now

I don't want

to be reminded

of our past.

Because each time

I think back,

your ill treatment

will land on me again

like a ton of bricks

forcing me

to quit

1230 HRS MARCH 28TH 2007

In matters of the heart,

in the lifelong battle

to win love,

I feel like a boxer

that lasted 3 rounds

with 3 different fighters

and I lost all.

My heart is dead tired

like a boxer

lying motionless

on the canvas

bruised

bleeding

lifeless

the last punch

have taken

the last bit

of energy

out of him.

I remind myself

no one is ever alone

in times of

tribulations.

There's always someone

out there

suffering

in the same way.

They can pick themselves up

and be on their two feet

and face another fight

so can I.

Honestly, I wonder

what is the big fucking deal

being alone.

Its better to feel lonely

when alone,

than to feel lonely

in a relationship

anyway

1500 HRS MARCH 27TH 2007

Its been so long

I forgot I knew this song,

I sang it to my ex-wife

back in 1989.

"I want to live,

I want to give,

I've been a miner for

a heart of gold.

Its these expressions

I never give

That keeps me searching

for a heart of gold

and I'm getting old

Keeps me searching

for a heart of gold

and I'm getting old"

I thought I found

my heart of gold.

Only to realise

all that glitters

may not be gold.

And all that is gold

may not glitter anyway.

2240 HRS MARCH 26TH 2007

My dear friend Ms Y

is going to Europe

for summer holidays.

I've travelled around the world,

there are not many cities left

that I have not been.

It always amuses me

when people wanna

go travelling,

"to see the world"

"to experience life".

Other than different places,

life is generally the same.

If you wanna experience life,

go to Batam,

and hang out with

child beggars

and pregnant teenage

prostitutes.

When I travel,

I like to experience

a bit of local life.

I have no cares

for sightseeing.

I don't want

to go to another boring church

or castle

or ancient ruins.

If you have to visit

a tourist site,

by all means,

but do take a bit of time

to wander off

the little lanes

and explore quaint little shops.

Don't bother about another

shopping mall

with the same old

Body Shop, KFC, MacDonalds etc.

I want to experience culture

and have no interest

in seeing another church

with 200 tourists

snapping photos.

It does not interest me

to see a 1000 year

temple ruins.

Life is for the living,

not the dead.

I want to see living culture,

not a culture that died

thousands of years ago.

I like to hang out

in local places,

not discos.

But in places

where locals hang out

like bars.

Quiet places

where people are always

happy to talk

to me.

I'm always struck

by the universal problems

of the human condition.

True there will be some

experiences

that I find extraordinary

and I learn

from their extraordinary ways

of dealing with extraordinary situations.

But I learn more

in a squatter's home

in Batam,

a small concrete structure

whose floor area is about the

size of my kitchen.

In that floor area,

they eat there

they shit there

they sleep there

they fuck there.

The opulent splendour

of the Palace of Versailles

of the French Aristocracy

disgust me

more than impress me.

I prefer to talk

to locals

about economic

and political situations,

and more importantly,

how they cope.

And sample

local food

and local beers.

If you try hard enough,

people will always understand you

no matter where you go.

And please,

don't compare prices.

When you travel,

be prepared to pay.

I hate to waste time

haggling.

I have an idea

how much I want to pay

for something,

and if the price suits,

its mine.

Let them keep the rest.

I am afterall

a guest

in their country,

I should pay

for the priviledge

of being there

1410 HRS MARCH 25TH 2007

I used to think

of love

as some form

of voluntary

incarceration,

a self imprisonment,

a deliberate

self enslavement.

Maybe I am wrong,

because

Freedom exists

in Love

by itself.

When you love someone

wholeheartedly

you feel the freest.

The true experience

of freedom,

is having to love

the most important person

in your life,

without feeling the need

to possess her.

We feel hurt,

when we lose

the one we love.

But that cannot

be love.

Loves does not

seek out to hurt

or harm.

Love liberates,

when you can be

at your happiest,

when you see your

loved one

at her happiest,

even in the arms

of another man.

I hope this time passes

quickly,

so I can resume my

search

for myself,

in the form

of a woman

who truly

understands

2125 hrs March 24th 2007

I woke up this morning

determined to stop

missing you.

Did the things,

I usually do

when I'm alone

and single

on weekends.

Brought the boat out

to the open sea,

and a Dalai Lama book

in hand.

I was so bitter

and angry.

In all my past failed relationships

I always felt,

I could have done better.

With you,

I tried,

I really tried

to make you happy.

I wonder

if you knew

how hard I tried.

I wonder

if you knew

how much this relationship

have cost me.

You saw

how fast I aged

in the last 2-3 years

right before your eyes.

The constant pressure

and stress

resulting from

the persistant uncertainty.

I felt I had so much

love to give,

but you refused my love.

Well, you're not

the first woman

to walk out

of my life,

and at the rate I'm going,

you're probably not

the last either.

I'd just take it

that you're just another somebody

that I used to love.

No I don't really

want to be friends either,

I have enough friends.

What I want now,

is to achieve

a zen like

calm and peaceful state

of mind.

I want to develop

a caring and giving

compassion

in me.

For now,

any contact with you

will distrupt

the state of mind

I am hoping

to achieve.

Please go,

I wish you happiness

and thank you

for being another person

who was once

in my life

1110 hrs March 23rd 2007

God,

I'm worse

than a fucking woman.

I probably grew

a pair of ovaries

in the last few days.

Just who the hell fuck

was I trying to bullshit?

It hurts like hell

every now and then.

Love can either bring you

to heaven

or hell

or both.

But at least

you go somewhere.

I needed you

so badly

in my life.

My heart yearns

to go to bed

with you

each night.

So comfortable

snuggling up

to sleep

and hear

your soft gentle

breath

as you tenderly

waft into

unconsciousness.

I still feel

your heartbeat

as I held you

in my arms

and feel

the divine softness

of your breast

in my hand.

When the day breaks,

it comforts my soul

when the first thing I see

is you by my side.

As I gentle plant

a kiss

on your lips,

unfailingly

you will wake up

with a bright smile

as I say goodbye

and go to work.

I miss

rushing home

after work

so I can have dinner

with you,

open a bottle of wine

and chat into

the wee hours

of the morning.

You're a quiet girl,

but somehow

you tell me

every little thing

every little event

of your day.

I enjoyed

engaging your mind

in conversation,

connecting your soul.

Sometimes I wonder

if God actually cares

about Love.

Christians tell me

God loves the world.

I have all the reasons

to believe,

He fucking hates us

to death.

Love is a flip

of the coin.

Its such a gamble.

Heads you win,

Tails I lose.

If God is Love,

He would have cared

about the way I feel.

Clearly

He doesn't

give a shit

0910 hrs March 22nd 2007

When love breaks down,

we lament

at the loss of love

and think of love

as transcient and fleeting

saying love is worthless

and a waste of time.

But when we decided

to stop feeling sorry

for ourselves,

with a calm

and peaceful state of mind,

we can transform

all those anger

and bitterness

into an even

higher form

of love.

Where we can love

our ex,

without feeling the need

to possess her.

Where we can love

our ex,

without needing or even wanting

reciprocity

or anything in return.

Where we can reach a stage

and say,

Darling,

I will always love you

and you will forever

occupy a space

in my heart

because

you were once mine

1625 hrs March 21st 2007

I'm a sailor.

I know

my boat is safest

when it is nicely docked

away in the marina.

But that is not

the purpose

of a boat.

A boat should be used

to travel the seas.

Through stormy weather

through choppy waves

past treacherous rocks

to visit the islands

to have the sun

in your face

salty sea breeze

in your hair.

Likewise in life,

we have to step out

of our comfort zone.

It takes risks,

possible disappointments

and failures.

But no one

can take a new life path

without abandoning the old one.

I know singlehood

very well.

I know my way around

and I know my way out too

1220 hrs March 21st 2007

I think true love

is an act

of total abandoment

of one's self

like a complete surrender

to the other

where there is

no more fear

of loss

because you have

everything

love is

everything.

People tell me

love is about

give and take.

I reject that.

Giving and taking

is no more

than a commercial transaction

for mutual exploitation.

Some people

take and give,

ie take first

and then give.

Some bastards and bitches

take and take.

I think of love

as

GIVE and GIVE.

There are people

in this world

that find joy

in giving

than taking.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama,

said in his book

"The Art of Happiness"

that when you reach out

to another person

with compassion

and loving kindness

you connect to him or her

with a spirit of friendship,

happiness is

internally generated

within.

And if I may add

to His Holiness

profound insights,

true it is a blessing

that someone

or even somethings

can give us happiness.

But it is a personal conquest

if we can find happiness

from within.

Because if you're gonna need

somebody or something

to make you happy,

you're not gonna be

very happy

anyway.

1630 hrs March 20th 2007

I have empirical

and statistical evidence,

that women basically

love bastards.

They only say,

they want a nice

and caring man.

But the only thing

tht will make

a woman's heart thump

is a bastard

that is self serving

egoistical

braggy

arrogant

cheating

sometimes even violent.

I don't know many languages,

but in English,

they say

Nice Guys Finish Last.

They even have songs

about bad boys.

In Mandarin,

Nan Ren Bu Huai,

Nu Ren Bu Ai.

Bastards put themselves first

before anything.

They don't let women walk

all over them.

They themselves

are above all priorities.

Nice guys set themselves out

to please their women.

As a result,

they become a doormat

and women trample

all over them.

They put their women

on a pedestal

and revolve their lives

around their women.

You see,

nice guys become

predictable and boring.

To women,

bastards

are a challenge.

We may have evolved,

as human beings

but our wild nature

remains.

Women are attracted

to the strong dominant male

who doesn't care

about the creatures around him,

he devours them

if he has to

in order to survive.

Women think these types

will survive in the world

of business

and corporate culture.

But yet when bastards

dump their women

after getting bored,

women will cry their eyes out

whilst their best friends,

the nice guys

will be the ones

standing by them

but never ever getting

the hope ever

of getting laid.

If a woman ever

thinks of a man

as "a friend"

there goes your chances

of ever

jumping into her pants.

Notice how bastards

are always always

braggards?

I always believe

all that show

of confidence

is actually to hide

an inferiority complex

and low self-esteem.

If you constantly need

to prove yourself,

to run others down,

to take advantage,

clearly you cannot

be so confident

of yourself

anyway.

In this life,

I aspire

to be respected

as a man

with a conscience

and believes

in doing the right thing

constantly

and strictly adheres to

his set of principles

of causing nobody

harm or hurt,

least of all,

his woman.

I want to be matured, mellow,

quietly self assured

and taciturnly confident.

Let quality demonstrate itself

without having to say

too much.

If all that

is not good enough

for my woman,

I rather be single for life,

or turn gay

1950 hrs March 19th 2007

I think when women cry

they don't cry for others

they cry for themselves.

Why spent the last 2 days crying

over this little break up?

When in our 4 years together,

you spent the first year

looking at other alternatives,

spent the second year

making me feel not good enough

spent the last 2 years

trying to move out.

Well, you finally got what you wanted,

and the last remnants

of our life together

were shipped out

over the weekend.

Why the sadness

why the tears?

Shouldn't you be celebrating?

Like our last night together,

I insisted we pop

the Dom Perignon?

I was saving that bottle

for our wedding actually.

It was I,

who spent the better part

of the last 4 years,

doing everything I humanly can

to win your heart.

Women came and went

out of my life,

I have always felt

I could have done better.

With you,

I honestly don't know

what else could I have done

to save this relationship.

I really don't.

I tried so hard,

God knows how hard

to win you over

and make you wholly mine.

Maybe I could have tried harder,

maybe I should not even have tried.

It was a battle

I simply could not win.

I felt like a Nissan March,

trying to race a Porsche.

Going into this relationship,

felt like I went into a gun fight,

armed with a water pistol.

The level of appreciation

is simply non-existent.

As I am made to feel inferior

in your family's social standing,

And made to feel like

a lower form of life

in my physical stature.

I honestly

cannot take it

anymore,

but admit defeat.

I did all I could,

but lost,

because I simply

wasn't good enough.

And defeat I accept

like a man.

Love is supposed

to feel good

and wonderful.

I've felt like a dying patient

in ICU.

1410 hrs March 19th 2007

I wrote this 5 years ago

Different time

different woman

same poem,

this is just beautiful.

The Last tear drops

The last tear drops

Sliding down my cheek

They're hidden from you

Or you'd think I'm weak

You thought you seen love

Out of your selfish eyes

But my visions are clearing

On to clearer skies

Darling I know it upsets you

That I've stopped waiting around

But honey listen silently

And you'd hear the sound

The sound of my footsteps walking

As I walk out the door

Its for the wrong reasons you return

Coz you just don't love me anymore

This time I'm really moving on

The next time you turn,

You'd realise......I'm gone

1225 hrs March 18th 2007

I woke up this morning,

not knowing why.

Wishing I never had to

wake up ever again.

I sat alone

in my living room,

and imagined you

lying on the couch

as you told me

our story is finally over.

I thought I saw sorrow

in your eyes.

I struggled to speak

but can only cry.

I am alone again,

fighting to fill

the desolation

that was once

our life together.

I guess I am past

anger and bitterness.

All that is left

is just emptiness.

Abandonment

follows me

like a dark shadow.

Depleted

I stare

at the hollowness

of my existence.

I kicked the empty

beer can at my feet.

That was how

you left me.

Like an empty beer can

noisily rolling across

its hollowness.

Baby, if only

you could hold me

one last time

and feel a little bit

of my hurt

1045 hrs March 16th 2007

In the darkness of the soul,

its always 3am.

But the darkest time of the night

is just before

the night breaks into day.

Bring on the morning sun,

I want to step out

of this river of tears.

Bring on the morning sun,

I want to cast out

all these fears.

Too many angels

have seen me cry.

Too many angels

have caught me

as I fell.

Too many angels

helped me

as I picked up

pieces of a broken life.

I want this darkness

dispelled from my life.

I want those voices

to shut up.

I want those apparitions

to disappear.

Forever.

1530 hrs March 15th 2007

Just when I thought

I'd get over you,

Just when I thought

I can make it through

the night

without getting drunk

and missing you.

You walk right back

through my door

like you never left

at all.

Like as though

nothing ever happened

at all.

Just what does it take

to make you wholly mine?

1100 hrs March 14th 2007

OK

Fuck you all,

I'm in charge now.

I may not control

the actions

of others around me,

particularly the women

in my life.

But I sure as hell

can control

my reaction.

It has to be the ultimate freedom,

to be unaffected by anything

or anyone around you,

not even someone

you truly love.

Fuck you all,

I'm in control now.

From today,

I redefine my priorities.

Number One,

I'm all about money.

Money, money, money.

It is the only language

I will speak

and the only language

I will understand.

Number Two,

its about time

to take care of spirituality.

Have I talked to God lately?

Am I a blessing to others around me?

Fuck no,

I depress others

with my perpeptual cynicism.

Number Three,

Intellectual.

There are hundreds of great books I bought

in my study,

waiting to be read.

Number Four,

Physical.

Damn, my lungs are like an ashtray

and my liver a beer brewery.

About time to fix all that.

Number Five,

Love.

Family love (greek word Storge)

I've been a good son I suspect.

Platonic Love (greek word Philia)

Fair enough, but I do have enough friends.

Romantic Love (greek word Eros).

Forget it!!!

I'm bad news to any good women!!!

1650 hrs March 13th 2007

Its closing time

our music is fading out

I think I'll have another drink

maybe this time a stout.

It may have been 4 years

but its like day one,

you were lonesome just like me

and just wanted some company.

But its closing time

and our music is fading out.

You lighted another cigarette

the fire cast an orange glow

on that pretty face.

I should not have fallen

in love with you girl,

we were just

not meant to be.

We never had a life together

I don't even know why we tried.

So its closing time baby

and we've danced

our last dance.

I hope you enjoyed yourself

and find your way home safely,

I think I'll sit here a while more

and have another stout.

1210 hrs March 12th 2007

Oh Venus

Goddess of Love.

You exist

but in my mind

and my soul.

A figment

of the imagination,

a vision

of the heart's desires.

A fantasy

recreated,

An imagery

conjured.

If I were to say

I truly loved you

and want you

to be mine,

what's is it to you?

The empty silence

of the walls in our bedroom

cry out

its wailing despair

in another night

of solitude.

All evidences have shown

I am still alone,

You've crept away

from my life

without saying

goodbye.

And we still choose

not to talk

about it.

Choosing to let us

die a slow and prolonged

death.

Once

I saw love

in your smile,

Now

I see mockery.

As you laugh

at my valiant attempts

to attain

the unattainable.

I'm fighting things

I cannot see,

maybe its my destiny

I am changing.

When I think back

of that night,

when you planted

your first kiss,

so gentle

so adoring.

I knew all along

it was never meant to be

it was too good

to be true.

So again,

I'm fighting things

I cannot see,

maybe its my destiny

I am changing.

1040 hrs March 12th 2007

Some interesting trivial.

A human female

produces about 360 eggs

in her entire life time.

A human male

produces about 100 million sperm cells

in a single day.

No wonder they said

Men from Mars, Women from Venus.

We both fucking aliens from

different fucking planets!!!

The way our anatomy

were constructed,

suggests that men

are biologically hardwired

to have sexual urges

with as many females

limited only by the supply

the world can provide.

Being with a single female partner

is simply unnatural.

Her ovulation cycles

simply cannot cope

with that of a man's!!!

A human male's daily sperm production

simply does not match

a human female's ovulation cycles,

let alone pregnancy gestation.

Thus in biological terms,

I conclude that men

are made to be

polygamous.

The reverse

is contrasting

and yet true

for women.

Human females

who produce such a limited number

of eggs in her lifetime,

will want to be very selective

with who she chooses

to fertilise her eggs.

You can see that clearly,

as a woman matures,

she becomes alot more

selective and guarded

with her choice

of partners.

But having said that,

the biological instinct,

is still to find

the best possible partner.

Which suggests,

that the search does not end,

after she found one partner.

Since her eggs are limited,

she will find herself biologically

moved to pursue

the next better choice

that comes along.

So I conclude,

neither men nor women

are biologically hardwired

to be polygamous.

But we live in a social world,

and our social evolution dictates

that monogamy is imperative,

mostly for providing

the conducive family unit,

for raising offspring

in this modern world.

But that does not change the fact,

that our anatomy

is designed for natural polygamy.

Society blocks

that natural course of events.

Just like a dam

blocks the natural course

of a river flow.

So a marriage

blocks the natural course

of our polygamous instincts.

In order to block the natural course

of a river,

the dam have to be strong.

Conversely,

in order to block the natural course

of our polygamous instincts,

the marriage/relationship

have to be strong.

Remind me please,

to stop gathering silly information,

and extrapolating useless logic.

I should just

hangout at Geylang

more often

1825 hrs March 11th 2007

I think prostitutes

are the most honest

women in the world.

You lay your money

and play your part.

A prostitute gives no illusions

nor declaration of love.

A prostitute gives you sex

for money

A ktv girl gives you intimacy

for money

A social escort gives you companionship

for money

A mistress gives you desirability

until the bigger better deal

comes along.

A wife gives you love

until the bigger better deal

comes along.

Cut the politically correct bullshit,

Cut the romantic until death do us part bullshit.

This is the reality.

In the time of the Neanderthals,

cavewomen chose their mates

on the basis of their strength

thus meat hunting ability

we call it the 5Cs these days.

On a particularly tragic day,

the neanderthal goes hunting

and got into a horrific accident

and can no longer hunt

to provide meat

for his family.

Is Mrs Cavewoman gonna hang around

for much longer?

I used to think of men

who frequent prostitutes, ktv girls, social escorts

as losers.

I used to think

I'm above all that.

I used to think

with some wit

with some charm

with some intelligence

with some money

I can get the woman I want

without going to Geylang.

Now I'm not so sure anymore.

Maybe I've been wrong

all this while.

1200 hrs March 11th 2007

Oh,

So you made an error in judgement

big fucking deal.

Learn from mistakes

and move on.

No point being so sentimental

about someone

who ain't sentimental

about you.

Totally counter productive.

Just take this episode,

as just another chapter

in your life.

For fucks sake,

don't make it seem

like its your whole fucking book

0935 hrs March 8th 2007

This is not Mack original

but I love it anyway.

Good Judgement comes from Experience

Experience comes from Bad Judgement.

Well,

Once bitten Twice Shy.

And if I may add,

Twice Bitten Never Try.

Thrice Bitten Go and Die.

Its one thing

to learn lessons from experience.

Anybody with a half decent IQ

learns from experience.

Even my cat

learns from experience.

But its another thing,

to apply lessons learnt.

Some of us,

may have learnt all the lessons

but never given a chance

to apply what we learnt.

1425 hrs March 5th 2007

You know,

its really rare

that I quote

from the Bible.

But St Paul taught

the Galatians,

"What you reap, you will sow".

Think of it this way,

if you plant bean sprouts

in your garden,

do you expect

to grow durians?

No fucking chance

Einstein.

So when you cheated

your boyfriend,

abandoned him,

left him crying

in your infidelity

and desertion,

what the hell fuck

made you think

you found true love

and unforsaken dedication

in your lover,

your partner in crime?

It always come back

in a far more destructive

and hurtful way.

Now your lover have dumped you?

I hate to say this dear,

but you deserved every fucking minute

of pain and agony.

And now you think,

your boyfriend is the most wonderful

person on earth?

Just what the hell fuck,

were you thinking of before?

For God's sake,

don't even think,

of going back to your boyfriend.

Trust me, I've been down that road before.

He will find out, one day.

Not if,

but only when.

So,

for the sake of everybody,

forget it and move on.

Coz if you go back

to your boyfriend,

your conscience

will haunt you forever,

(on the weak assumption, you have conscience),

that you betrayed him

and relinquished him

for your lover

and went back to him

only because

you've been fully used

abused,

misused,

by your lover.

Like a sanitary pad,

used and throw away.

Remember,

when you grow beansprouts,

don't expect durians

1335 hrs March 5th 2007

No,

I won't.

I will never ever ever

go to bed,

with another man's wife

nor even girlfriend.

Not even

if I fucking hate him

with all my life,

or even if she

is everything I hoped for

in a woman.

Because if I do that,

I will never ever

be able to look at myself

in the mirror

and think of myself

as the man

I want to be.

And when I wake up

to see her,

lying next to me,

I can't help

but think of her

as cheap

and dirty,

with the moral standards

of a street dog.

And I've just degraded myself

to that of her street dog morals.

I do not want,

to be the one,

to snatch

another man's woman,

nor do I want,

to associate with

a woman,

who allows herself

to be snatched.

1715 hrs March 2nd 2007

I forgot to mention

the other day

February 28th 2007

all hell broke loose

on the SGX

Singapore Stock Exchange.

All time high record trading volumes

caused the electronic trading platform

to jam

and became a comedy

of errors and misquoted prices.

Wrong information

was disseminated

and SGX's website

froze,

not providing usual prices

and volumes.

SGX's official statement

the next day in the papers, said

"The high volumes caused

congestion which led

to prices updated slowly

and at different times

led to anomalies"

Yeah, right.

First World infrastructure my ass.

1535 hrs March 1st 2007

I wrote sometime back,

on how Singapore is a safe haven

for stolen money

from Indonesia,

please scroll back

to October 16th 2006

and October 20th 2006.

Well its all over the newspapers

in Indonesia now.

In the Jakarta Post

last month,

the editorial accused Singapore

of harbouring 500 Indonesian fugitives

with USD30 billion of stolen money

deposited in banks here.

I knew we have alot

of their money.

I didn't know that much.

The Singapore government

is now being

opening being accused

or harbouring criminals

and safekeeping stolen money,

what do they

have to say about it?

Guilty by association?

Hey, for a government

that is so famous

for suing people

into bankruptcy

for defamation

and other scandalous words,

why are they now

keeping so quiet?

They are known

to have sued

foreign publications too,

Far East Economic Review,

Bloomberg etc.

Why not sue the Jakarta Post?

0845 hrs February 28th 2007

Today is Feb 28th,

and the stock markets

everywhere

behaved like

its the end of the world.

Markets plunging everywhere

blood flowing

on the streets.

China's market collapsed.

Nobody knows why.

I know,

its our wedding anniversary

thats why.

It was doomed

from the start.

14 years ago,

I thought I found true love

I thought I found someone

who would love and cherish me

who would really really treasure me

like as though

I am a real gem.

You once held me

like a real gem.

and then you threw me out

like I was a lump

of dogshit.

But the tragedy is,

just like in the stock markets,

the basic fundamentals

have not changed,

there is no reason

to sell so urgently,

Likewise,

my basic personality

have not changed,

there is no reason

to dump me

so quickly.

In Life as in the markets,

your perception,

have became

your next reality.

As I am left to rue,

about all those lost years.

Those lost years,

where have they been to,

my dearest?

2100 hrs February 24th 2007

Call me unforgiving

call me pitiless

call me vindictive even,

But I will never never never

ever forgive

infidelity.

You're supposed

to love and

chrish me.

Just how are you supposed

to love and cherish me

when you hurt me

so badly?

Maybe you do love

and cherish me,

but clearly

you love and cherish

yourself

far more.

When you agreeed

to go out for a date

with him,

what were you thinking of?

Did you ever consider

how I would have felt?

Didn't you realise

you were courting danger?

No, you walked into it

with your legs

wide opened.

When he first kissed

your lips,

did it ever occur to you

that would really hurt me?

And make me feel

abandoned,

betrayed,

and cheated?

Nope, you did it anyway.

You cared about how you felt

more than how I felt.

I'm sorry, but henceforth,

I can't help but feel

that your body

has been defiled,

and find you

very very dirty

indeed.

I can never ever

be intimate with you again,

because when we're in bed,

I still see him

lying naked

between us.

People do make mistakes

and I can forgive

a mistake.

But irreparable damage

has been done,

I am scarred

probably permanently.

So for your sake

and mine,

we should seek our happiness

on our own

and not

together.

2100 hrs February 20th 2007

I dunno

I dunno

I dunno

Every fuck shit also dunno.

Gimme an answer like

YES or NO!!!

Either you're IN or OUT!!!

If you're OUT,

get the fuck

and stay the fuck

OUT.

Imagine this,

Do you Mr I Dunno

take Miss XXX

as your lawful wife,

to have and to hold,

from this day forward,

for better or worse,

for richer or poorer,

in health or in sickness,

to love and cherish,

from this day forward,

until death do us part?

I dunno....

Er, I need time to think about it,

gimme till March 3rd,

I promise you answer by then.

You lame spineless piece of

metabolic waste product,

you make a boneless chicken

look like a street gangster.

I admire people

who make mistakes

and admit it.

Be first to stand

on your own two feet

like a real man

and admit,

Sorry, I fucked up

it won't happen again,

I promise.

I dunno

I dunno

I dunno.

You dunno what you want

and how to get it.

You dunno where you're going

and how to get there.

Like a lump of sewerage

floating aimlessly

in a septic tank,

YOU DUNNO

1020 hrs Febuary 18th 2007

Exactly four years ago,

on this day,

like a vision

of daybreak

on a warm Saturday morning sun

she slipped into

the shadows

of my life.

Exactly

where have we been,

in 4 years?

And

where are we

going to?

4 weeks slip into

4 months into

4 years

and it appears

we're still

running

on the same old spot.

Like a roller coaster

with its thrills and spills,

its ups and downs,

exuberent highs

and devastating lows,

but always back

to the same old spot.

Still at the starting line,

we never really ran.

Or maybe,

it was just me

who ran

so far ahead

of you.

You did not run,

maybe

you just didn't

want to.

And each time I look back

I gotta drag myself

back

to the starting line

all over again,

where you've been.

Like in the Greek mythology,

Sisyphus pushing the huge boulder

up the hill

only to tire

and see the boulder

rolling back

to the bottom,

and for all eternity

Sisyphus been condemned

to keep pushing

the boulder

up the hill,

a task

that will never

ever be completed.

Love is like that boulder

it is never done,

it takes all your energy

and it always roll back

to the same old spot.

You know

our happiest days

were

when we never really

have to try

very hard.

Is ours just a dream

that will never

ever come true,

or is ours a nightmare

that will never

ever go away?

Just for how long more

do I have

to keep hanging on?

To this illusion

of the unreality

of love

or the reality

of unlove?

Just for how long more?

do I have to keep pushing

this boulder of love?

Will we ever reach

the top of the hill

together?

1820 hrs February 11th 2007

It was a sad lonely Saturday afternoon

away from you.

I wandered aimlessly around

Simei town centre,

wondering what

I should do.

I sat down

at a kopi tiam,

for late lunch.

Fried noodles

swimming in an ocean

of trans fat.

Tasted remarkably

like what I had

in Beijing.

If trans fat,

is a real health hazard,

according to New York's health authorities,

China's population

would be half

of America's

and the other half

dropping dead

of heart diseases.

Stupid fat fuck Americans.

They still don't get it,

its not what you eat,

its how much you eat,

Fat Fuck.

An elderly man

sat across me,

looking blankly

over a glass

of coffee with milk.

He doesn't seem

to be headed anywhere

or meeting anybody.

He was just contented

stirring his coffee

alone.

Maybe that is what

years of practising

dining alone

does to you.

I spotted a kid

frolicking away

in the open space

under the watchful eye

of a Filipino maid.

Makes me wonder

why do people have children for?

When the best family time

you have in your child's waking day,

is your weekend,

and you despatched the maid

to spend

what would have been

the joyous part

of parenthood

and weekend

notwithstanding.

Some people do not deserve

to be parents.

A woman in sunglasses

wearing a permanent scrowl

on her face

walked past.

She adorned

a white T-shirt

that shouted out

SYDNEY,

and a picture

of Sydney Harbour Bridge.

Does she understand

the architectural significance

of the Sydney Harbour Bridge?

Or the number of people

who died building it?

Or the number of people

who committed suicide

from it,

during the Great Depression

of the 1930s?

Or it was the scene

of White-Abroginal reconcilation

not too long ago?

I don't think so.

For her,

that cheap T-shirt

was no more

than a bragging right,

that she's been

to Sydney.

Big fucking deal.

I walked over

to the little acquarium.

The uncle there

was fast asleep.

I gently woke him up

and bought 5 parrot fish

for $20.

Walked home,

and released them

in the condo pond.

I hope they're happier now.

Swam 15 laps

and then to the sauna,

feeling like

a new man.

I blared Tiger Okoshi

on the stereo,

his piercing trumpet

blasts

over the cool night

as I sipped

the honey choya,

looking for the heart

of Saturday night,

wondering

if she is

alright

1440 hrs February 9th 2007

So here I am

once more

Back home

after 5 grueling weeks

in Hong Kong.

Alone and miserable in

Hong Kong

Alone and miserable in

Singapore.

Stuck in a long distance relationship

with an absentee girlfriend,

Coming back home

to a dying father.

I begin to think

about

SEX, DEATH, RELIGION.

Humans are naturally

driven

to have sex.

It is our primal instincts

and the reason being,

like in all living things,

to perpetuate

our species.

We want to reproduce

because it gives us

this sense of perpetuity.

Our biology is geared

towards attaining perpepuity.

Perpetuity in the form

of passing our genetic material

to the next generation,

and hopefully,

it goes on and on.

Asian races even have

a hangup about having sons

instead of daughters

so as to

"carry the family name".

True, many of us want to have sex

without having kids or

pass on our genetic material.

That is just social evolution

dictating

our social behaviour.

I'm referring to the psychology

behind the biology.

Inherently,

we fear death.

We do not want to die

or at least

live to a "ripe old age".

I've seen the terminally sick and elderly

in hospitals

who cling on to life

whilst suffering everyday,

like as though tomorrow

will be a better day.

Why not die?

Again, it is against

our biological makeup

to want to die.

When you see people dying

in a drowning incident,

you see the tremendous struggle

to stay alive.

When we are put,

in a potentiall fatal situation,

like a close shave from

a car accident,

we always get

traumatised

by the shock

of facing possible death.

We are biologically hardwired

to want to live

for as long

as we can

I suspect

it has to do

with perpetuating

our species.

Suicide cases

are psychology going ahead

of biology.

Why then,

is the appeal

of global religions?

Notice that all religions

promise

one form of life or the other

after death.

Therein lies

the appeal,

the promise

of perpetuity.

It is even a booming business

to sell products

promising youthful good looks,

the illusion of perpetuity.

In that aspect,

religion

is just a big jar

of FANCL TENSE UP

or Eu Yan San bird nest

with collagen.

All in the business

of perpetuity.

My guess is

I will feel equally good

just having sex,

lots of sex.

1900 hrs January 28th 2007

Daddy,

as I call out to you,

while you lay

withered and frail

on the hard teak

of my lounge bed,

you never liked

a proper mattress,

do you still know my name?

do you still remember

that I'm your son?

Your only son?

Everytime I hear you

grasp in a momentous struggle,

for your next breathe,

it felt like a knife

going through my heart.

As memories roll back

the arms of time.

You were strong

and stout

with broad shoulders

in a younger man's clothes.

You worked two jobs

to raise the family.

Coming home late

at night,

I would wait up

for you

to return

on your motorbike.

You would lift me up

to your shoulders

and play horsie

as I squealed

in delight.

I remember

how I loved football

as a kid.

You took me to the sports shops

at Katong Shopping Centre

to buy me a pair

of football boots.

But I was too

dimunitive

and none of the boots fitted.

You took me to a speciality store

at Onan Road,

to have a pair of football boots

specially tailored

for me.

Whenever I kicked

the ball,

I was so small,

the recoil would

make me fall back

on my back.

You would laugh

and showed me

how to kick.

I was awestruck

by your strength

as you thumped

the ball

into the air,

across the field.

I still hear your laughter

ringing in my ears,

when I refused to eat,

I was a poor eater then,

am still now.

You would order

charcoal barbequed

chicken wings,

as you knew

that is the only way

of getting me to eat

something.

I was such

an eloquent kid,

the PAP kindergarten

made me Emcee

for the graduation party

which I really really hated.

As a shy and introverted kid,

I stepped up on stage

and held the mike,

I saw the huge grin

on your face

and your sunglasses,

standing in the corner.

I made my speech

in flawless english

and you erupted

into applause,

clapping the loudest.

I still hear the resonance

of your approval

as you shouted

YEAH!!!

Somehow all the nervousness

and stage fright

melted away,

when I saw my Daddy there.

Coz nothing else matters

but him being there.

There was once,

you waited for me

outside school

as usual

in your school bus,

I was quietly tearing away.

You asked me why.

I refused to tell.

You instinctively knew

someone bullied me.

You demanded,

"Somebody bullied you?"

I nodded my head

in tears.

"Show me that boy!"

You held my little hand,

and I pointed out

my classmate.

You strode over

and reprimanded

in that low baritone voice,

"You disturbed my son?"

that kid was so frightened,

as you glared at him.

When I was in junior college,

I got expelled

for failing mandarin.

You drove up to

the Ministry of Education

at Tanglin

and kicked up

such a fuss,

almost threatening

to beat up

the department head

in charge of junior college admissions.

They repealed mandarin requirement

a few years later.

I like to think

that verbal bombardment

you gave

had something to do with it.

I remembered the stupid fights

we had,

when I was a teenager.

You would tell me repeatedly,

"I can't wait for the army

to get you,

they will make a man

out of you"

I joined the army

and told you

I was in the demolition squad.

I saw the fear and worry

in your face

afraid that I would die

in an accidental bomb blast.

You spent the next one year

talking to friends

about how to get me out.

One day I came home,

and told you

the army posted me out

of demolition

and into admin.

You asked,

what happened ?

I said, I failed

a medical.

You said

GOOD.

You never knew

what I did

for a living.

But one day,

a cousin saw my name card

and told you,

my brains must be working

"like a computer"

to do my job.

You were so proud,

you went around

shelling out my name cards

to everyone you meet.

I get calls from strangers

looking for a job.

Dad, if my brain worked

like a computer,

yours must be the lastest

Pentium 4.

You never had

the education,

you probably

never needed it.

When my wife left me,

I was sobbing

at your feet

like a little boy again.

I lifted your hand

to my head

and stroked my hair.

You laughed

because you knew

I always felt comforted

whenever

you stroked my hair.

A few days later,

a girl from a modelling agency called me.

She told me you met her

and told her that I was depressed

and needed some company.

She said she called because

you looked really concerned

for me and wanted me

to appreciate you

for doing that.

Daddy

as I write this

silent tears flowed

like a river,

can you stay around

for just a little longer please?

I don't know

how to make it

without you

I love you

as my hero.

Can you show me

how to kick that ball

again please?

1330 hrs December 22th 2006

I searched up the lyrics of

this song,

from the movie

"My best friend's wedding"

If you wanna be happy

for the rest of your life

never make a pretty woman your wife

so from my personal point of view

get an ugly girl to marry you.

A pretty woman makes her husband look small

and very often causes his downfall

as soon as he marries her

then she starts to do

the things that will break his heart.

But if you make an ugly woman your wife

You'll be happy for the rest of your life,

an ugly woman cooks her meals on time,

she'll always give you peace of mind.

Don't let your friends say

you have no taste

go ahead and marry anyway,

though her face is ugly

her eyes don't match,

take it from me

she's a better catch.

Yes, a good looking girl

is bad news.

Worse if she has

big tits.

Like everything in life,

marriages and relationships

go through

high and low cycles

ups and downs.

Marriage is supposed to be

a strong bond

that keeps two people together

during the down times.

But if you got a good looking wife

with big tits,

guys are gonna hit on her

every single minute

and during your marriage

down cycles,

the temptation can be

overwhelming.

Even worse than,

a good looking girl with

big tits, is

a good looking big tits

party girl.

Even during good times,

guys hit on her,

like flies get attracted

to dogshit.

And after a glass too many

she wakes up

on another man's bed.

Don't get me wrong,

I want to have some partying fun too

with my girl,

but I'm sure as hell

ain't gonna marry

a party girl.

Even worse,

than a good looking big tits

party girl,

is a stupid good looking big tits

party girl.

Even if you have

the IQ of Einstein,

your kids are gonna be

really dumb,

growing up with

a stupid mother.

I want a woman,

who is loyal.

Who will stick with me

through thick and thin.

Coz I sure as hell,

can't charge ahead in life,

if I have to keep looking back

to see if she's there.

I want a woman,

who is gentle and kind.

I want her to impart

the right value systems

to my children.

I want a woman,

who is patient and calm.

Who can take my nonsense

as though it was nothing.

Nothing shortens a man's

lifespan,

than constant nagging,

not even cigarettes

or drugs.

1330 hrs December 5th 2006

I staggered

in a drunken haze

along the corridors

of Duxton.

Stumbling

from one bar

to another.

Downing another beer

Lighting another ciggy.

Anything

Just to numb

the pain

a little.

The Filipino whores

asked me to buy

them a drink

in exchange

for some company.

Its not the same.

I just want you

by my side baby.

I miss you so much.

I can't make it

by myself.

I want you so much.

I wallowed another song

in my misery.

Somehow as I stared

at the lyrics,

I thought I saw

your gaze

in the corner

of my eyes.

I was drunk.

I floundered

into the street.

The moon shone

at my face,

I wondered

if the moon

at Sukabumi

is shining upon

your pretty face.

I lurched

into an empty taxi

and said Simei St 4

knowing so well

that I will be

coming home

to our empty house

sleeping alone

on our empty bed

I just want you

by my side baby.

I miss you so much.

I can't make it

by myself.

I want you so much.

1050 hrs November 29th 2006

I don't know

what is it about people.

Or maybe the problem

is actually me.

I don't know why

people seem to believe

everything they read

or hear.

I stopped reading

the Shit Times

for many years now.

I think Swingaboreans

are basically gullible

in nature.

I doubt Swingaboreans

are stupid,

most are smarter than me.

But somehow

very few bother

to think.

Maybe its because,

in Swingabore,

we're not allowed

to think for ourselves,

we let the government

do the thinking

for us.

Or maybe

to think

takes too much

energy.

Maybe its my nature,

I was born

cynical and skeptical.

Whenever I read

or hear something,

I start by

disbelieving.

And I start thinking

of reasons

to disbelieve.

I hate reading the news.

Even the act of merely

reporting an incident

serves to create

a mental picture

and invariably

distracts me

from other

probably more important

things.

Why tell me

about the number of people

blown up in a train

by a terrorist?

When many more people

are dying of cancer

which can actually

be treated?

Why tell me

about how many people

dead from a Hurricane

in some obscure state in USA

when many more

are dying of terminal diseases

right here in Singapore?

Why read recommendations

from stock analysts?

How often were they

actually right?

Why listen to government's

economic forecasts?

How truthful are they?

They paint such rosy pictures

but you know so many

unemployed friends.

Why do we believe

that ministers should be paid

millions of dollars?

What have they actually done?

That is worth so much?

They said otherwise the ministers

will work in the private sector.

So, for that matter,

why are chairmen or CEOs

paid multi million bonuses

in large corporations?

What skillsets are

actually involved?

How do you quantify

their actual contributions?

Why even bother to read

restaurant reviews?

Don't we all have our own

personal tastes?

Even when one see's

an acquaintance's or friend's

ostentatious braggings

of wealth,

success in stock

or property markets,

why should we believe

everything?

Could he possibly

be in debt

to his eyeballs?

Why look at assets

and not liabilities?

1600 hrs November 27th 2006

Oh come on,

let's get real.

Let's get a grip

on reality.

Ours is not

a relationship.

Ours is just

a domestic partnership.

No more than

a sleeping arrangement.

I sleep on the left side

of the bed,

you sleep on the right side.

I use the toilet downstairs,

you use the toilet upstairs.

I pay all the bills,

sometimes you take off

all your clothes.

We open a nice bottle of wine

only because its better

than drinking alone.

We go for a meal

at a nice restaurant,

only because its better

than dining alone.

We do not have a future

together.

And when you look back

not much of a past

either.

What could have been

our only connection,

laid amongst bloody clots,

in your gynaecologist's

petri dish.

1245 hrs November 17th 2006

Mommy and Daddy,

I thought

you'd love me

with all your heart

like your lives

depended on loving me.

I thought

you'd guide me

through thick and thin

through rain or shine.

I thought

you'd hold my hand

as I take my next step

through the footprints

of your lives.

I thought

you'd hold me

and kiss me

when nights are cold

and lonely.

Keeping me safe

and far away

from harm.

I thought

being wholly responsible

for a life your brought

into this world,

would make you

see the beauty

of complete responsibility.

I thought

you'd hold me,

care about me,

uphold me,

love me,

cherish me.

I never thought

you'd think

I was a mistake.

I thought I would

be your prize

not unpleasant

surprise.

I never thought

you'd actually

pay money

to have my life

sucked out

of Mum's cosy womb

even before

I ever seen

the world

you live

or the life

you could have

offered me.

I am now

in heaven

disembodied

my spirit freed

from parts of what

was left

of my tiny body,

when you could have

made me whole,

waiting for the day

I'll ask Mum and Dad,

WHY?

1535 hrs November 13th 2006

This one is good.

You wrote,

"women spent the best years

of our lives with a man,

we deserve to be paid"

Yes honey,

you're right.

Thats what

the girls in Geylang said

as well

1020 hrs November 8th 2006

People reading this blog

must be sick of

my rants on

marriage and divorce.

Those who still

enjoy reading them,

I recommend psychiatric help

like me.

Paul McCartney

the old ex-Beatle

got divorced.

Poor Guy.

He must be singing

Yesterday,

all my troubles

seemed so far away,

now they looked

as though they're here

to stay....

Heather Mills said

Paul was "boring and mean"

He said she was

"unreasonable and argumentative"

She said he stabbed her

with a broken wine glass.

He revealed she was

a former prostitute.

She demanded

half of his US$1.5 billion

networth.

What a circus.

I don't think many women

set out to be money grabbing

gold diggers

when they first meet

a man.

But somehow,

when love goes bad,

they usually become

blood thirsty scavengers.

Fucking despicable and contemptuous

giggling hyenas.

Consider these statistics.

7 out of 10 divorces

are initiated by women.

9 out of 10 marriages

are initiated by women.

Given the way

divorce laws are wildly skewed

in the favour of women,

marriage and divorce

seems like a conspiracy

against men

by women of the world.

Man and woman falls in love

they get married.

After a few years,

men appreciate the predictability

of family life.

Women tend to find it

boring.

They start to wonder,

is this it?

Is that all?

I wonder how is it like

to be with someone else.

And then someone more happening

comes along.

This is just beautiful.

Your wife dumps you

go shags up

with some Eurotrash

and you pay her alimony.

Eurotrash gets to fuck your wife

and you have to pay her.

If you have kids,

custody battle is a fucking joke.

Say goodbye

to your SUV

and at least

half your house.

That is just the financial aspect

of a man's divorce.

Let me tell you

something else.

Have you ever wondered

why much more divorced men

commit suicide

than divorced women?

Because for a man,

a divorce is not

just emotional baggage,

its a fucking trailerload

that he has to lug around

till he dies!!!

Just how can he start life anew,

when he got to keep paying

alimony???

In the eyes of the court,

alimony and maintenance

to ex-wife takes precedence

to the new family

he may have.

And the truth is,

men go through a lengthy period

of loneliness and withdrawal.

We don't talk such things

as divorce

when we meet for beers.

We tend to stifle our emotions

and mask it with meaningless jokes

and laughter.

We internalise the pain

by going to whores.

We try to redeem

our sense of self worth

by jumping into

stupid relationships.

And she goes around bad mouthing you

to the entire world,

to justify to herself

why she dumped you

for her Eurotrash.

God help you

if you ever laid hands on her.

If she beats you up,

somehow its deemed okay

even according

to the Singapore Police.

So Paul,

if you gotta stab her

with a broken wine glass,

for fuck sake

aim properly.

Finish her off

in one swift jab.

1440 hrs October 25th 2006

My dear friend Ms K

told me that there is

a specialised store

at Vivio City

that sells organic food.

A carton of milk $12.

Just how the hell fuck

can a carton of organic milk

cost 3 times more than normal???

I understand the clamour

for organic food.

In the age of mad cow diseases,

bird flu, hand foot and mouth diseases,

the food you eat

that is supposed to nourish

can actually kill you.

I also understand

that it costs more

to farm crops organically.

Without the use of chemical pesticides

and fertilizers,

it would naturally lead

to the lowering of

harvest yields.

Also without the use of preservatives

will lead

to shorter shelf life too.

But can a carton of organic milk

cost 3 times more???

Mathematically, it simply

does not add up.

I'm sure the cost

of raw food

at supermarkets

is probably a minor component

of total costs that a consumer pays.

Let's have a hypothetical breakdown

of supermarket costs of raw food.

Say,

raw food 20%
rental 30%
staff 20%
marketing 20%
transport 10%
TOTAL 100%


Now,

for organic foods on the shelf,

except for raw food,

all other costs should

remain about the same.

So to solve for 3 times increase

in price, the numbers look like this

raw food 220%
rental 30%
staff 20%
marketing 20%
transport 10%
TOTAL 300%


Does it make sense that

the cost of organic food

is 11 times more (220/20) ???

Just who is bullshitting who???

How much of that $12 per carton

of organic milk,

actually goes to the farmer???

I'm sure as hell,

not 11 times more.

The more obvious answer,

is the retailer

is making a killing

from organic food

by promoting scare tactics.

I don't think my hypothetical numbers

are that far off reality.

2325 hrs October 24th 2006

I was just thinking

about traffic congestion

in Swingabore.

As much as we love to think

we are better

than other 3rd world countries,

whenever I'm stuck

in a traffic jam,

it reminds me

of Bangkok

or Jakarta.

Well done, Swingabore government.

After charging hefty COEs

silly ERPs

you achieved

no better

than the Thais

and the Indonesians.

COEs don't work.

Because people want

to buy cars anyway.

Cars are important

in our social status seeking society.

I admit, cars are crucial

when you have kids.

Cars are useful

when you carry heavy groceries.

But for most people,

we do not need cars

to go to work,

or send children to school.

Cars do not pollute the environment,

nor cause congestion.

Driving cars pollute the environment

and cause congestion.

Forget the COEs

forget the ERPs.

Let people buy cars

let people drive into the CBD zone.

I suggest putting a microchip

in each car

which is linked to a global positioning system.

Charge the driver,

only when he uses his car.

Charge him a premium,

at certain busy times

of the day,

charge him lesser

on weekends or evenings.

But charge him only

when he is on the road,

not when his car is parked.

Refund all COEs.

Let people buy cars.

Dismantle the silly looking

ERP ganteries.

ERPs do not work

because when you need to go

into the CBD,

there are hardly any other

alternative the government

provides anyway.

COEs don't work

because people want

to own a car.

Charging a COE

is like having a cover charge

to a buffer dinner.

Once a person pays

his cover charge

if he does not care

about his figure,

he will gorge himself

who can blame him?

Afterall, he has paid

the upfront cover charge,

like COE.

But if a diner

have to pay

for every single piece of food

he picks up,

you will see a different behaviour.

Just observe people

at hawker centre economy rice stalls.

Once he has to pay for every food,

you see him ordering at most 2 meats

and 2 vegetables.

I believe that is

the order of nature.

Making drivers pay

everytime they use

the road

instead of an upfront cover charge

will make drivers think twice.

And of course,

the alternative modes of transport

must be viable too,

namely increasing

the frequency of MRT trains,

which I find disgraceful

for a so called

world class transport system.

Lastly, how much to charge

per usuage of the roads?

I reckon about 50% to 100% higher

than taxi fares.

So unless absolutely necessary,

a driver will probably take a taxi

than add another car

on the road

1900 hrs October 20th 2006

I just knew

someone will rebutt

my previous post

on the haze

and Singapore's money laundering.

True,

I agree with you.

These are two separate issues

and rightfully mutually exclusive

from one another.

But politicians

are ALWAYS linking

separate issues.

Look at Malaysia.

What the hell does

Singapore's supply of water

from Johore

have anything at all

to do with the

customs, excise and quarantine department

in Woodlands?

You tell me.

And I tell you,

its all political

one uppance.

People are naturally proned

to linking separate issues.

Women are particularly good

at that.

Everytime there is a quarrel

with a boyfriend or husband,

invariably

something from the past

totally unrelated

to the current issue

gets brought up

and fought over.

ALWAYS.

Ultimately,

you fight over issues

that has absolutely nothing

to do with the current.

You asked me for proof

of Singapore's money laundering?

I don't have an exhautive list,

other than what's recent

on Indonesian papers.

Bambang Sutrisno US$162 million

Sudjiono Timan US$120 million

Pauline Lumowa US$184 million

They're living in expensive

penthouses

in Orchard Road.

There's a lot more but

guess you won't read

about them

in Shit Times.

0845 hrs October 16th 2006

Cough cough

Its the haze again

and its getting worse.

These days

when I look out

of my office window,

I only see a dense blanket

of brown smog

and vaguely the Esplanade

in the background.

If you read the Shit Times

you'd actually believe

that the Indonesians

are bastards.

That the businessmen community

bribed government officials

to turn a blind eye

and let them slash and burn

primary forests

with wanton indiscretion.

You hear Singaporean politicians

giving lectures

on the rule of law

and law enforcement.

Just who the hell fuck

are we to give lectures

to the Indonesians

about the rule of law ???

For years,

Singapore is a haven

for Indonesian criminals

who embezzled and cheated

hundreds of millions of dollars.

These Indonesian crooks

stole what amounts to BILLIONS

in total

and ran away

to this safe hiding place

who welcome stolen money

with open arms.

Singapore welcomes money,

lots of money,

any kind of money,

clean money, dirty money

we don't care.

We just want money,

lots of money.

These Indonesian criminals

ran to Singapore

with their stolen money

move their families here,

buy properties

put the money in banks

shop for LV at Orchard Road.

For years, the Indonesian government

begged the Singapore government

to sign an extradition treaty

so these criminals

can be extradited

and their stolen assets seized.

But we basically said

FUCK YOU

to them.

Now with the haze,

we actually think

we have the moral authority

to lecture Indonesia

on the rule of law,

when we're a sanctuary

for their stolen goods

and criminals.

And as for these criminals

snapping up top end houses

in Sentosa Cove,

the Indonesians say,

Hey! Long time no see!!!

We miss you so much that,

We're sending you something

from home!!!

1320 hrs October 10th 2006

Wow,

its been almost a month

since I last blogged.

I've been so damned busy.

Bangkok, Kuala Lumpur,

Dalian and Jakarta.

Not so bad

for someone

who really hates flying.

I left my handphone

in Jakarta.

Maybe I did it on purpose

subconsciously.

I don't know

if the problem is with me

or people around me.

Somehow,

people call me

only when there is

a problem.

I've reached a stage

when I get a shock

and coil in dreaded anxiety

everytime the phone rings.

And on my birthday,

the person whom I wished

above and beyond all others

to call

did not call.

Fuck it,

no more handphones

for me.

My life was much simplier

before they invented handphones.

People use handphones

to call me because

they won't handle

the problems themselves.

Thence

from now on,

if you can't get me

too fucking bad

deal with it yourself.

I'm tired

too fucking tired.

And oh,

no house phones either.

1740 hrs September 13th 2006

I think all people who marry

should go to HELL.

Or at least 99.99% of them.

Lets see why.

Two people,

in the House of God,

in front of the altar,

vow to each other,

witnessed by friends, family

and God.....

I, take you Ms XXX

to be my wife,

to have and to hold,

from this day forward,

for better or for worse,

for richer or poorer,

in sickness and in health,

to love and to cherish,

from this day forward,

until death do us part......

You vowed affection (to love and cherish),

You vowed unconditional love (better or worse),

You vowed permanence (until death do us part)...

All your vows were broken,

at least at some point,

in your life.

People marry,

without realising

the serious responsibilities

they undertaken

in their vows.

They end up wronging

their spouse.

Such failure

to uphold a vow,

have to be sinful,

even if the spouse

is unnecessarily negligent.

Hurting others,

is far worse,

than hurting yourself.

You chose to go into a marriage,

and found yourself unhappy,

too fucking bad!!!!

You can go to Hell

for all I care,

but you have aboslutely no right,

to hurt another,

and break your vows.

Yes, I conclude,

married people

will all go to HELL,

probably deservedly so too

2300 hrs August 30th 2006

"I love you Darling,

I've always loved you

and always will....."

Suddenly his heart

skipped a beat.

In his mind,

visions of going to ROM together,

getting married,

applying for a HDB together,

starting a family together,

working hard, saving harder,

maybe buy a condo....

that brought a contented

satisfied smile,

to his face.

"But you and I

are not meant to be

together"

In that instance,

his little world collapsed.

He loved her

for so long,

she made him cry

bitter tears in silence.

Through her outbursts

of temper,

her raging boredom

to her infidelity.

Through it all,

he stood steadfast,

thinking and praying quietly,

that one day he can tame

that wild spirit,

that wanderlust.

She can stray,

but he always thought,

his patience and love,

will one day

make her wholly his

and his alone.

She can wander,

but his love

will surely lead

her back.

He never once

even openly defied her,

agreeing with all her abuses,

swallowing his pride,

which man doesn't have pride?

Hoping and stubbornly believing

his unwavering resolution

will win her over

one day.

Even at this moment,

when all seems lost....

"I am not right for you,

one day when you meet the right woman,

you will thank me

for this"

He just sat there,

frozen in time.

This seems to last

an eternity.

He could understand

those words.

Yet they seemed

so senseless

so hollow.

"You and I

are not meant

to be....."

He is fighting back

his emotions.

"But darling,

you know I always loved you"

He uttered.

How could that little girl,

the love of his life,

say such cold and murderous words?

Is this a nightmare?

No, its something worse.

But it cannot be true,

as he sunk into depths

of his despairing denial.

He could say no more.

Nothing in the human language,

is befitting

of expression

that his heart

is crying out

to express.

Yet he valiantly tried,

to remain strong,

as he always done so,

holding back

the tears,

not for the first time,

certainly he hoped,

not the last time

either

1100 hrs August 29th 2006

What were you thinking?

Whe he first asked

you out.

Did you think

his motives were pure?

What were you thinking?

When you found yourself

increasingly drawn to him.

Did it not occur to you

how I would hurt

to lose you?

Did you think

you were doing

the right thing?

For yourself and me?

Didn't all those years

we spent together

meant anything to you?

Can you remember

what you saw in me

in the first place?

Can you remember

what got us through

all these years

in the first place?

What were you thinking?

Were we that bad?

Don't you think

we or I deserve

a 2nd chance

to make it work?

Do you still think

you did the right thing?

Can you look at me

in the eyes

see my hurt

and tell me

you did the right thing?

Did you feel guilt

at all?

Did you think of me

at all?

What future did you see

in him,

to throw it all away?

Maybe my best

is not good enough,

but are you getting

a much better deal now?

Are you happier now?

0910 hrs August 25th 2006

I fucking give up

I fucking fucking give up.

I don't fucking understand anymore.

I found out my ex-wife bought

a HDB 3 room flat

with my money.

What the hell fuck is going on?

You gave me up for this???

You gave up a husband

who would have provided you

a penthouse, a porsche, a boat

expensive holidays, branded goods

for a HDB 3 room flat???

Wanna find an angmor boyfriend

for fuck sakes,

why not find an angmor

with at least some class???

Get an angmor who would not even

rent a studio apartment in a condo

for you?

I am almost sure

this type of angmor

back in his home country

he will not even get a date

and you divorced me

for such a loser?

And you have to buy a HDB 3 room flat

with your ex-husband's money???

I don't know who is more pathetic

you or me.